cblj_backup | (no subject)

Okay, world. We need to have a talk about Chicago.

Places Chicago is not:

Des Plaines.
Rosemont.
Lombard.
Mount Prospect.
Oak Park.

I might give you that last one on a technicality because Frank Lloyd Wright lived there, but if you say you know of a great burger joint in Chicago, you cannot then link to a burger joint in DES PLAINES. And much as I hate to say it, Chicago TARDIS, you are not in Chicago. You are in Lombard. I don't care if you have a Metra station. It's still Lombard.

Here's a rule of thumb: if you can't get to it on the El, OR if it costs more than $30 to get to it from the Loop by taxi, it's not Chicago. Yes, you can get to Evanston on the El, but I've never caught Evanston claiming to be Chicago, because Evanston is Chicago's plucky little brother who has really good self esteem and doesn't need to be Chicago.

I realise Des Plaines doesn't have the cachet of Chicago, and neither does Lombard. I know both stand right on the border. I get that it's easier to say "Chicago" when you mean "anywhere in Illinois where you can't see a farm".

But you don't get to be Chicago if someone who lives in Chicago, ie me, cannot get to you. Either move to Chicago and put up with the expense and the coyotes and the humidity, or shut the fuck up.

I might be having an Angry Day, but this has been festering for a while. It's not that I think the suburbs aren't worthy of being Chicago, it's that they taunt me when they say something really awesome is in Chicago and it turns out it's in Des Plaines.

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Telling people you work BELOW 8 Mile when they live in a suburb totally freaks them out. It always makes me think you need a passport when you cross over from Oakland county. Saying I walk around in Detroit seems to merit some sort of battle recognition. Yes, parts are sad, but the whole thing is NOT a burned out, infested war zone.

I know, seriously! Some of my patrons were scandalized when I said I got my master's from Wayne. Or when I said I was going to Detroit to see Jonsi by myself, people were all "!!!!!"

Oakland County has SUCH a complex. Granted, I love living here in my tiny-city-no-one's-heard-of, but they certainly do act like they're better than everyone else (*cough*West Bloomfield/Birmingham/Bloomfield Hills*cough*).

Yes. This.

"It's in Phoenix!"

Uh, guys? Phoenix? Is actually a fairly small funny-shaped city full of a lot of old neighborhoods and really sketchy areas where you wouldn't wanna be after dark unless you have a personal Brute Squad - including the area that comprises what little culture we have. The Phoenix METRO* area, however, is HUGE and VAST and you can tell me that I live in Phoenix and that X nifty thing is in Phoenix, but I will be damned if I drive for an hour and a half and cover 70 miles to get there and still call it "home."

If you drive a mostly straight shot across "Phoenix" on the freeways from east to west, starting where it stops looking like desert and starts having housing developments, and then stopping when the housing developments stop and it starts looking like desert again, you will have driven 55 miles. This is to say nothing of the north-south run. No way is that a single city.

*This is strictly meant to mean "metropolitan" as in a delineated area in which humans congregate and live, and not in any way to suggest that we have anything resembling an organized public transportation system that might help you to cross it. Example: If I were to take our public bus system to work, I would have to drive 10 miles to the closest bus stop, catch one bus, transfer to another bus, and then walk 5 more miles (in 100+ degree weather for a good chunk of the year), and it would take me SIX TIMES longer than it does to drive myself to work.

I went past Pardadise Pup at 5.29 pm. Tried to stop. Apparently they close at 5.

FYI, can probably get there more easily than you think- Take the River Road bus up from Rosemont CTA, it's about two miles.

Seriously. It always drives me nuts when I meet someone from Naperville saying they're from Chicago. Naperville isn't even *close* to being Chicago.

St. Albans is also a tiny town not far from where I went to uni, in Vermont, USA. At first I thought that's what you meant, and was ready to be all excited because hey, how many people even know that town exists? Alas. I'm sure your St. Albans is lovely too, though, and probably has a greater people-to-cows ratio.

Which I suppose is why there's "Boston" and "Boston proper".

Hahaha I freak people out when I tell them you live in Detroit, too. It's hilarious, because people have this image of Detroit and...where you live is so not that.

I had to interject just to correct a minor point - it's Nassau/Suffolk. I believe Sussex is a county in Northern NJ.

Durr, that comes of me posting in a hurry, sorry!

haha, i cringe when people say they're from albany, ny, and it turns out they're from saratoga. it's an hour away, by highway, that is not even close.

I live in Oklahoma and there is a serious lack of public transport here as well. I live in the suburbs of Tulsa and it is considered part of the "Tulsa Metro area" even though we are 20 mins away from downtown or the airport (which is a very long time in an area where the average commute to work is less than 20 miles).

LOL. Probably, yes, since it has a couple of theatres (though weirdly, no cinema) and a shiny cathedral. Although I hear Vermont is nice :)

THWARTED!

I'm pretty sure there's no way I'm getting to Rosemont before 5, much less on a bus from there :D

Ughhh, groupon, why so horrible?

Guess I better spend the last of my credit with them :D

I've been past Superdawg, but never in it. Might have to make it a weekend field trip sometime....

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