(no subject)

Me: Hello, Much Hated Coworker, I need information from you for this paper payment form you will be processing for me.
Much Hated Coworker: Why are you still filling out paper payment forms?
Me: Is there another option?
Much Hated Coworker: Yes, we have a digital form now.
Me: FINALLY. When did this happen?
Much Hated Coworker: Oh, about six...

I swore he was going to say weeks, which would have been bad enough, because I've been actively asking for a digital payment option for YEARS.

Much Hated Coworker: ...months now. I meant to call you.
Me: Six months, huh?
Much Hated Coworker: We had some training classes for people who handle high volumes of financial stuff.
Me: Okay, well, send me the URL, thank you. *hangs up* I'm going to kill him.
Awkward Coworker: *approaches*
Me: I'm going to kill someone today. It probably won't be you, but don't test me.
Awkward Coworker: I can come back.
Me: No, I won't be less homicidal later.

URGE TO KILL RISING. Poor Awkward Coworker.