cblj_backup | (no subject)

I realise that this is drastic overshare, and I know it's kind of reminiscent of that one House MD episode, and I promise this isn't what the post is about, but I'm going to say it anyway, and I'm going to say it first:

Since I came home I've been eating approximately twice the amount of food I normally eat in a given day, and my poop is unbelievable.

There, I said it.

It's not that the food isn't absolutely delicious, because it is. There's just so much of it. Today, however, I can eat a little more sparingly because Mum and Lucky are at work. It's just me and Emmy and Holstein, and we're alternating between napping, snacking, and SHARK WEEK on Netflix. These shark biologists are hardcore. I've never seen a man wrestle a sixty-pound angel shark into submission with his bare hands before.

I was kind of bummed though. The show is called "Future Shark" and I was hoping it was going to be about the future evolution of the shark (like that one special that posited the next intelligent species on earth could be the squid, in a few zillion years) but it's just about how new technology is helping us study sharks. Which is not nearly as interesting as, say, tool-using sharks, sharks who develop a written language, or sharks with lasers.

I'm also inducting Emmy into the wonders of the Caustic Soda Podcast, so it's a very science-y morning. Sort of.

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Sam, you boy. You sound like my brother :)

Heh. I was thinking he sounds like me and my sister.

Huh. Well, maybe my brother sounds like a girl then, I guess?

I think that toilet humor is universal, myself, but maybe that's just me. :P

That'll be it!

"A little potty humor and the day ain't so bad" could be my family motto.

Ahaha, I was thinking he sounded just like my mother...

IT'S TRUE!

I wonder if sewage engineers have actual evidence for this phenomenon.

Working with sharks (and wrestling them) is possibly the most fun experience one can have. Especially when it involves lassoing them (exactly what it sounds like) and wrestling with them on a boat deck. And those things, thanks to their lack of bones, are bendy and wiggly as hell. Also perverted, apparently, as I was once groped by two separate sharks over the course of a day.

Oh, I could tell you poop stories. When your career of choice includes a dozen diaper changes a day, conversations about poop are not only inevitable, they're part of the job.

LOL, I'm just saying, nobody here signed on for poop stories to start with...

Yes, but it's a natural progression of the relationship. Soon enough, we'll be discussing our dodgy colons and grumpy livers.

First rule of nursing school: You will have a poop story by the end of your first placement.

Second rule of nursing school: If the above somehow doesn't apply, god help you on your second placement, because it will be ONE GIANT POOP STORY.

The future of the shark is here, thanks to the good ol' US military. Sharktopus is even now patrolling our coastline in search of ~~terrorists~~ tasty bikini-clad co-eds to eat.

What? You thought it was "just" a movie?

Oh my god, you did write about poop. :D

I said I did! I would never lie about poo.

That's...good!

...backs away. :D

Man, I have no interesting poop stories. Which I'm sure you're glad to hear!

I WAS THINKING OF THAT EVERY TIME I POOPED.

Wait, did that sound weird?

* I LOLed @ the Sharktopus comment + icon - possibly one of the best worst TV Movies ever made.

* "The Future Is Wild" is still one of the most interesting productions that the Discovery Channel has ever put on.

* I was curious about "Future Shark" too, thinking along your same lines, so thank you for sparing me that crushing disappointment!

I hope your poop levels off soon!

The Future Is Wild certainly left an impression on me, even though I can never remember the damn name :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsVgi8hoFFc

That's all, really.

Thank you for sharing, Sam. I work retail (shoot me now, right?) and we let customers use our bathrooms, though they have to ask for the key. And I have to say, my work is apparently everyone's favorite new place to poop. It's truly unbelievable. I went up to eat lunch in the break room, which is next to the bathrooms, and some little kid was taking a crap in the men's room. With the door open! The smell hit me before I ever got to the break room, and I was totally NOT able to eat lunch in there.

Have you read Snuff? It's all about Sam Vimes, Young Sam, and poo. very funny.

I have not yet, alas. It's on the list!