Don't Ask Me About North Wales

[cblj_backup]

I was pleased to discover this morning that I am no longer the only person on the internet who is interested in Welsh tourism!

Although I am acting under the assumption that none of my comrades are also Information Centre employees and/or agents of a top-secret organisation fronted by the Welsh Tourism Board. If you are, don't tell me, I probably don't have clearance for that kind of thing. Also, ask headquarters to send me some new brochures on Brecon Beacons National Park, as the current ones are out of date and do not contain sufficient warnings regarding your likelihood of encountering cannibals.

Brecon Beacons: You Might Not Get Eaten!

Gwen complains a lot about how that camping trip made her lose her naivete but at the time I was busy being tenderised and unable to help Jack protect her from life's little tragedies, so I don't feel too guilty.

My point is, essentially, that southern Wales is a pleasant place to holiday, and as long as you stay within the Cardiff city limits you are 99% unlikely to be eaten by cannibals*. You are, however, 80% more likely to get laid than anywhere else in Wales**.

Come to Cardiff! Bring your umbrella!

* Statistic does not apply to Raxacoricofallipatorians, mutants of any description, or sex mist.
** Statistic is anecdotal but pretty well proven by the Ianto Jones Institute Of Have You Met Captain Jack Harkness.

Comments

[timeagency.livejournal.com]

I have added Welsh tourism to my interests, too. Just to be friendly. I have no desire to be shot in the face. As for being eaten, I can't help you with updated brochures but I can tell you what they did when the natives of Marthorn VII suddenly started to chow down on the tourists. They added a sticker to the brochures that read, "The danger to tourists upon arrival at this planet's receiving station is extreme. We do not advise travel here without an armed and very well fed guard force. If you must travel there unaccompanied, be advised to bring a large amount of hot sauce to bathe with." This worked in about 50 percent of the cases. The other half were totally into hot and spicy food.

I am sorry to hear you were tenderized. That was not only barbaric (and unlike some of my coworkers, I do not see your entire century as barbaric) it was entirely unnecessary as you seem quite sweet and soft enough. Although I understand you wield a mean stun gun.

Sometime back you asked what century I'm from. I was born in the 42nd (commonly known as the wisest century ever but no one's ever figured out why) but the offices of the Boss of the agency are in the 29th. (HIS boss has an office out of time entirely but none of us ever gets to go there.) We have sattelite offices throughout time on various worlds. But I never get to go to them. I qualified but the Boss likes me in the office. Something about being the only one here capable of speaking in a civil fashion to the outside world.

[sevendayloan.livejournal.com]

Do you have a actual degree from the Ianto Jones Institute Of Have You Met Captain Jack Harkness, or just some sort of preliminary accreditation? Statistical purposes, of course.

Also, I applaud the new Beacons slogan. Rhymes are an absolute necessity.

[annemjw.livejournal.com]

I believe there has been corroborating evidence from the Captain Jack Harkness Institute of Have You Met Captain Jack Harkness on this matter, also.

[1-mad-squirrel.livejournal.com]

My point is, essentially, that southern Wales is a pleasant place to holiday, and as long as you stay within the Cardiff city limits you are 99% unlikely to be eaten by cannibals*.

What about Swansea?