(no subject)

[cblj_backup]

Today I am the most misunderstood person on the internet. Not in any kind of sad, emo way, it hasn't been a bad day exactly. It's just that I am literally not making myself understood. I am cross-communicating with a vengeance. ENGLISH, WHY HAVE YOU ABANDONED ME.

We got three calls today from people wanting to talk to "the person in charge of fundraising". We are a business in charge of fundraising, but it's very difficult to make people understand this. We don't need to sell chocolates, sir or madam, we're a little beyond that now. No, there's nobody in charge of fundraising, or rather in a limited way everyone here is.

I had to explain our new security system to someone, again, but after 300 repetitions of this explanation, TODAY I effed it up.

I have three different web browsers, but only one of them currently functions well enough for me to order dinner. And it's Internet Explorer.

And then there was this thing with a man looking for a dentist, except I don't speak Arabic so it took us a while to establish that he was not in the dentist's office. (We did establish that he was from Egypt before we established that he was in search of a dentist. I googled one for him.)

I wrote the above while recovering from dinner, and then I looked down at my foot, which was tingling, and discovered that at some point during the meal I had ripped a three-inch gash in the side of my left foot. So now I'm not even communicating with my own nerve endings.

I don't have band-aids long enough for this, but I do have superglue!

Guys, don't let me glue my foot into a sock. That would just be embarrassing.

Comments

[alexiel-neesan.livejournal.com]

Will internet hugs help you to not glue your foot into a sock?

(randoms cuts happen to me quite often. It's only when I look for the source of the blood stain on the canvas/drawing pad/book/random kitchen surface that I realize my hand/finger/forearm is bleeding...)

[kallaneboi.livejournal.com]

So glad I'm not the only one that does this.

[mrsalemp.livejournal.com]

I'm not allowed to use the skin superglue anymore. It is REALLY easy to glue stuff to yourself when already injured. BE CAREFUL. Otherwise you'll be trying to tear the sock or whaterever off your skin and make the original cut worse :(

[martinius.livejournal.com]

This is what happens when I don't read comments before commenting myself; you can buy tissue glue over there? Here it's only available to hospitals.

[keeperofqkeys.livejournal.com]

Please don't glue your hand/various other body parts/other random objects to your foot either, Sam.

(Though apparently a good way to un-super-glue yourself is WD-40, except if you're my sister, you end up super gluing yourself to the can in the process...)

[mamculuna.livejournal.com]

I rarely really ROFLMAO, but that did it!

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Oh! that's good to know.

[hollyxu.livejournal.com]

Please don't superglue yourself to anything! *crosses fingers*

[martinius.livejournal.com]

Dear Sam,

Don't put glue on any of your body parts.

Sincerely,
martinius

[vivichick.livejournal.com]

Are we sure it IS an accidental cut and not a calculated counterstrike from your resident mouse population?

[hermione-like.livejournal.com]

lol I am now imagining a little Reepicheep on the rampage.

[fullofowls.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. I hope Sam hasn't left any Brian Jacques books lying around...

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

LORENZO! *fistshake*

[florahart]

This tag is inaccurate! This is not a WAY you have injured yourself! It is a post in which you discover an injury!

:D

Also, here: bandaids!

*has had profoundly crapalicious December so far and relates to bad day*

[imaginarycircus.livejournal.com]

*makes you bourbon hot toddy or buttered rum or something*

[imaginarycircus.livejournal.com]

The last 48 hours have been goddamn wonky.

[honoria.livejournal.com]

okay, time for a nice cuppa.

[mamculuna.livejournal.com]

Universe to Sam: stay home and have a nice drink.

[lavinialavender.livejournal.com]

SAM. It is not okay that you gash open your foot without feeling it!

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I don't even know what I did!

PS: your icon is so, so apt :D

[soberloki.livejournal.com]

Erm... internet hugs and cinnamon sledges (http://www.recipesource.com/desserts/cookies/15/rec1569.html)?

I'm making those cookies for home and to bring to work for my Xmas Day shift. They were a favourite when I was a kid. One of the other girls is already in charge of the alcohol.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Ohhh, those sound good.

[nutmeg3.livejournal.com]

But...but...I was going to come to you when I wanted to buy Girl Scout cookies, magazine subscriptions and wrapping paper!

Avoid the Krazy Glue. Ruuuuunnnnnn!!!!

[amberdiceless.livejournal.com]

So Sam, who would you rather see play you in the movie of your life: John Cleese, Terry Gilliam or Eric Idle?

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Well, John Cleese has the best name recognition...

[bare-bear.livejournal.com]

I'd be more concerned about gluing your fingers to your foot, personally. I mean, at least the sock is where it's supposed to be. If you glue your fingers to your foot, that'll leave you to type with your nose, and that's really not going to help the communication slump you're in atm. :D

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Gah. My nose is not pointy enough for this shit! :D

[guestyperson.livejournal.com]

Oh wow... You are just not having a good day, are you? You really need to save your records of days like this for future books.

[guestyperson.livejournal.com]

Also: My condolences on the Internet Explorer thing.

[erised1810.livejournal.com]

i thought it coudln't get weirder? i know you a) ecist in real life and b) are not makign this up but parts of this remind me of a sitcom or a slapstick movie and/or make me want to add cartoon sound-effects. I hope it stopped with your foot though. i hope that made fate or karma or whatever it is run into a wall and back off. wowee.

[jonaht.livejournal.com]

I have found you the perfect solution for all your injury prevention needs. Since bubblewrap is bulky and loud, my I present to you the Deflexion Silicone Armor! Great for wearing under suits and ties or even any any casual attire.

http://dvice.com/archives/2010/11/deflexion-silic.php#more

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

NEAT. Like corn starch!