(no subject)

[cblj_backup]

Jesus Christ, how do I get roped into these things...

So, Claire was reading some fanfic and got all "PUT PORN IN, FANDOM!" and I was like "If you wrote it, then you shoulda put some porn in it." and then Foxy was all, "I smell a song parody."

And apparently I'm like some kind of wind-up toy, when someone tells me to do something I just bumble off and do it.

So Foxy and Claire and Anya and I wrote a song. This chick named Beyonce helped.

DISCLAIMER: We still love the gen! This isn't meant to be like, a polemic or something. It's just a filk about porn.

Fanfic Writers
To the tune of Single Ladies

All the fanfic writers (all the fanfic writers)
All the fanfic writers (all the fanfic writers)
All the fanfic writers (all the fanfic writers)
All the fanfic writers, now post your fics up

Up on the comm (comm)
Porn is the bomb (bomb)
Writin' it ain't no thing

You picked up a pen (pen)
and now you're writing gen (gen)
But crack_van recced my shwing

I described the junk (junk)
and also the funk (funk)
You got an honorable mention

Well I wrote this fic (fic)
and damn it's sick (sick)
Cause readers wanna be in their bunks

Cause if you write it then you oughta put some porn in it
If you write it then you oughta put some porn in it
Don't be mad 'cause the porn gettin' more hits
If you write it then you oughta put some porn in it

Po-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-orn
Po-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-orn

Cause if you write it then you oughta put some porn in it
If you write it then you oughta put some porn in it
Don't be mad 'cause the porn gettin' more hits
If you write it then you oughta put some porn in it

Got cocks in the fics (fics)
Femmeslash and RPS (RPS)
Don't like you don't have to read

Gettin' it up (up)
Someone's gonna shtup (shtup)
Don't care what canon writers think

We get no permission
For writing fiction
Co-py-right infringement

Hot like a burn (burn)
Now you can learn (learn)
What it really feels like to [CENSORED]

Cause if you write it then you oughta put some porn in it
If you write it then you oughta put some porn in it
Don't be mad 'cause the porn gettin' more hits
If you write it then you oughta put some porn in it

Po-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-orn
Po-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-orn

Cause if you write it then you oughta put some porn in it
If you write it then you oughta put some porn in it
Don't be mad 'cause the porn gettin' more hits
If you write it then you oughta put some porn in it

Po-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-orn
Po-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-orn

Don't trick fans by an author note on top
Like: "Snuggling is hot!"
Your porn is what we prefer, what we deserve!
Write a fic with het bits & slash bits & crack bits
Twelve chapters and beyond...
Make it all a big AU
They're rentboys in a loo
If you don't, you'll be alone
Who will wank, on the comm?*

All the fanfic writers (all the fanfic writers)
All the fanfic writers (all the fanfic writers)
All the fanfic writers (all the fanfic writers)
All the fanfic writers, now post your fics up

Po-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-orn
Po-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-orn

Po-oh-orn
Cause if you write it then you oughta put some porn in it
If you write it then you oughta put some porn in it
Don't be mad 'cause the porn gettin' more hits
If you write it then you oughta put some porn in it
Po-oh-orn

* An alternate "jam session" recording offers the following lyrics:

Don't trick fans by an author note on top
Like: "Snuggling is hot!"
Your porn is what we prefer, what we deserve!
Here's a kink that shakes me and takes me and delivers me
To ecstasy, to fapping and beyond
I'll handcuff your arms
Say you'll write what I want
If you don't, you'll be alone
no more readers on your comm