(no subject)
Apr. 7th, 2011 09:28 pmDespite the fact that I was just yesterday sent the most awesome origami pattern, I did not origam today. It was the longest of long days, you guys.
But! There was a bright spot, and that is LaughingAstarael's portrait of Colin and the Egret from Trace. It's coming right off the page! :D
She really put her finger, too, on some issues I've been having when she emailed me the link -- she said "You and Trace are not particularly getting along at the moment" which is very true. Really it's that me and writing aren't getting along at the moment; I always feel either thickheaded or tired when I go to work on a piece, and while I have made some headway with one story and am pushing along through another, it's hard going. I used to wonder why older writers were so fucking crazy and now I begin to understand, because I don't brush emotional stuff off the way I have done in the past, in terms of letting it affect the quality and quantity of my writing. But I honestly think I'm not writing much because I still feel a bit in limbo about this job, which is putting me in limbo as regards everything else. The one thing I've managed to complete is essentially a meditation on LIFE CHOICES. Subtle, Sam.
Actually some of it cracks me up, because a couple of people know I went for the job -- I didn't keep it a secret but I haven't been trumpeting it from the heights -- and they stop by my desk and ask me "Has there been any news?" with this amusing mixture of genuine interest and mild terror. I've been tidying things and adding procedures to our procedures manual, which really needed doing anyway, but it reminds me that I'm going to have to teach someone how to do all the crap I do, and it's all so idiosyncratic. There are four databases they'll have to be trained in, plus the general structure of the company, plus two separate accounting procedures, plus scheduling, and the phones alone are this maze of area codes, transfer protocols, and five different voicemail PINs.
But I suppose at least if I get the job it's all documented, and if I don't, I can take comfort from the fact that I won't have to train someone...
But! There was a bright spot, and that is LaughingAstarael's portrait of Colin and the Egret from Trace. It's coming right off the page! :D
She really put her finger, too, on some issues I've been having when she emailed me the link -- she said "You and Trace are not particularly getting along at the moment" which is very true. Really it's that me and writing aren't getting along at the moment; I always feel either thickheaded or tired when I go to work on a piece, and while I have made some headway with one story and am pushing along through another, it's hard going. I used to wonder why older writers were so fucking crazy and now I begin to understand, because I don't brush emotional stuff off the way I have done in the past, in terms of letting it affect the quality and quantity of my writing. But I honestly think I'm not writing much because I still feel a bit in limbo about this job, which is putting me in limbo as regards everything else. The one thing I've managed to complete is essentially a meditation on LIFE CHOICES. Subtle, Sam.
Actually some of it cracks me up, because a couple of people know I went for the job -- I didn't keep it a secret but I haven't been trumpeting it from the heights -- and they stop by my desk and ask me "Has there been any news?" with this amusing mixture of genuine interest and mild terror. I've been tidying things and adding procedures to our procedures manual, which really needed doing anyway, but it reminds me that I'm going to have to teach someone how to do all the crap I do, and it's all so idiosyncratic. There are four databases they'll have to be trained in, plus the general structure of the company, plus two separate accounting procedures, plus scheduling, and the phones alone are this maze of area codes, transfer protocols, and five different voicemail PINs.
But I suppose at least if I get the job it's all documented, and if I don't, I can take comfort from the fact that I won't have to train someone...