Sam's Backup Page

Because I am a prestigious and well known Man About Internet, I acquired the first episode of Elementary recently, and sat down to watch it.

I was not aware it was possible to ruin Sherlock Holmes so thoroughly. I am almost impressed at how terrible that was. The acting was first-class, which is a shame because they had a truly bad script to plow through. It wasn't even funny-bad.

( Three brief spoilery things. )

I do hate to compare Elementary to Sherlock because it's usually unfair to compare one show to another that has had such huge critical acclaim, but even without the comparison, it's objectively bad television.

So, we watched the Downton Abbey Christmas Special while I was home in Texas, and I'm not quite sure when it's actually coming back on air, but for posterity I'd like to share with you my parents' predictions.

( Mum is really fond of Edith. )

I do not think I would place bets on these coming true.

On the way out the door on Friday, one of the managers told me, "Don't drink too much this weekend." I was a little baffled until I remembered it's St Patrick's Day weekend in Chicago. He needn't have worried, I've spent the weekend to date in bed feeling miserable.

And mainlining Daria, which I downloaded last week because I realised I only ever saw about half the episodes. I have come to know a few things:

1. The X-Files and Daria were the defining television shows of my adolescence, which probably says more about my adult personality than I'm comfortable with.

2. I wasn't aware Daria was a spinoff of Beavis and Butthead, where she was an occasional character. In high school I found that show totally unwatchable. But I thought, you know, I'm twice the age I was when Beavis and Butthead were huge, maybe I'll understand the show better now. Maybe I'll be able to appreciate its subversive qualities on some kind of deeper intellectual level. So I looked up a few clips, and tried to watch, and I swear to god I felt brain cells die. This explains a lot about the adult personalities of many of my peers.

3. For the last ten years I've been assuming Daria and Jane were dating, because I never saw the episodes where A) Jane got a boyfriend and B) Daria then got the same boyfriend. I think I'm going to assume Tom was their best gay friend and they were just fighting about who got to use him as a beard, because for a couple of episodes there he totally ruined all that was good about Daria and Jane.

3a. Trent was always a funny character, but he's about nine thousand times funnier after having lived with a musician.

To sum up: Daria still awesome. Misery Chick still the best episode because Daria said, "I'm not miserable. I'm just not like them."

It's Monday night! I have to go back to work tomorrow, and it's also time for

Sam's Three Things About Chicago Code, 1.03: ( Gillis, Chase, and Babyface )

3a. I think Wysocki has a superpower for dodging bullets. I'm pretty sure he should have been shot ten or twelve times in this episode, but the bullets just go around him. I'm waiting for him to untuck some magical amulet from under his flak vest, or maybe show off an enchanted tattoo. I bet he was totally first on the scene after Dean and Death had their little showdown in the Chicago Supernatural episode.

So, Chicago Code is a big deal here in Chicago, where it's being filmed, but I was very skeptical about the PR I'd read. Mum had to remind me it was on tonight, but I did tune in. Who knows how long this will last -- whether it'll get cancelled or I'll lose interest or neither -- but as long as it does, please enjoy:

Sam's Three Things About The Chicago Code, Episode 1.01: ( The Pilot )

3a. Sox versus Cubs: did I not tell you guys this was the endless debate? Did I not put it in TWUSA? It's the first thing a tough guy asks. It's rarely relevant, but it's a fight to the death.

I watch Southland, and I like Southland, because it doesn't feel like other cop shows -- it's weird and alien, like it wasn't quite meant for TV, though I'm not sure how to vocalise just how. Chicago Code feels like a cop show, but it's not a procedural either -- it's political, and I like that too. It feels like a toned-down Southland, a television-fied Southland. But it's interesting enough to hold my attention; I'll be tuning in next week.

This is my life!

1. I have an unstoppable craving for garlic. I couldn't figure out why I wanted pizza all the time lately, and then I realised what I really wanted was garlic. I'm sure this is some kind of mineral or vitamin deficiency but I'm torn between buying garlic pills or just eating a lot of homemade garlic bread. The latter is more gastronomically satisfying. This did result in me making a huge pot of spag bol last night which was immensely delicious.

2. I keep pausing during the day, especially in the evening, and thinking "What am I supposed to be doing? I'm supposed to be doing something." And then I realise no, the book is in print, there is nothing I'm supposed to be doing. Well, I mean, there are things, but not things so important I need to drop what I'm doing and do it.

3. I don't normally read QC, but I have to admit this strip and its sequel and trequel made me lol. Also, I run hot and cold with Penny Arcade but Gabe's reindeer magnet gave me a powerful moment of nostalgia.

3a. I seriously need a haircut. I can't think with this much hair on my head.

IN CLOSING:

Sam: Two more wasps this evening. I have hermetically sealed my bathroom with duct tape. WHERE ARE THEY COMING FROM.
Junie: Have you investigated the possibility of a portal to a hell dimension?
Sam: It would nicely bookend my bedroom with the door to Narnia on the other side....
Junie: I can't believe the rent on an interdimensional crossroads is so reasonable.

Proper good morning to everyone. I am alive, I am at work, I'm pretty sure nothing's broken. My knee hurts and has a GIGANTIC BRUISE, but there's very little swelling, so I think I got off lightly. If by "get off lightly" one means "got four hours of sleep".

Nobody make any getting-off jokes, I'm too doped up on painkillers to enjoy them.

I finally got round to seeing Iron Man the film (just in time for Iron Man II to come out and me to ignore it!) and I have several observations to make:

1. Not enough Jarvis.
2. I was linked to some fanfic to remedy my feeling of Not Enough Jarvis, and sometimes he's Jarvis and sometimes he's JARVIS, and when I see the latter I want to ship him with the TARDIS, which is an epic love story in capslock waiting to happen.
3. In reference to #2, I said that it would require either the TARDIS landing in Stark's mansion or Iron Man walking onto the TARDIS, both of which are kind of ridiculous. juniper200 replied Or it could be on a street in New York, strangely unharmed by a giant superhero battle. Jarvis scans. TARDIS wonders who's feeling her up. to which I of course answered Love at first byte. Look, I'm not proud, okay?
3a. I was surprisingly more engaged in this film than I expected to be, and especially enjoyed the dialogue. Large explosions in plenteous amounts are still very boring, however.

I have many things to say today!

Actually I have many things to say every day, but a lot of time I don't have the time to say them.

First, cassie_phoenix and linlesiryn, if you're reading this, can you email me? Copperbadge at gmail. You have no contact info on your LJ pages and your numbers are up for Nameless signed copies. :)

Second, Adaigo Tea is doing The Roots Campaign, which is a cool setup where they profile a different tea farmer every month, and 10% of the sales of the tea they provide will be donated directly to them. Last month they raised something like $650 for the farmer (above, of course, what they pay for the tea to begin with). It's also an interesting look at the life of various tea farmers around the globe. And Adagio's a good company, I buy all my loose-leaf from them.

Third: If you are the USDA, and there is a major beef recall, surely the major beef recall should be linked from your home page. Or at least "food recalls" should be linked, instead of totally absent in any way from any area that a customer would intuitively visit. I know I should know what brand of beef I buy and where it comes from already, but I buy from Costco and then repack it in small serving sizes when I get home. I try to buy green and local, but sometimes I just don't have the energy to save the world through my choices in food consumption. Anyway, for everyone's reference, the USDA recall information page is here.

I also have some stuff to say about NaNo and some of its trends this year, but it's on the netbook and the netbook is at home. And by the time I prep it to post it might be irrelevant, so we'll see.

OH ALSO even my mother was less than impressed:

I didn't care much for the NCIS last night...seemed to much like a rehash of past shows and I don't like that guy Gibbs used to work for. Are Ziva and Tony ever going to go out?

<3 her.

So I watched "webisode" one of Can You Save Her, the web serial that James Moran wrote and GDL is in. (Possibly starring in, given what we've seen so far.)

Because these are five minutes long, you only get one and a half things. And I'm not cutting them because they're not really spoilery, especially if you've seen ANYTHING AT ALL to do with the show.

1. I find it difficult to be interested in this show so far, because every cop show ever has done this plot and it's nothing new per se. It's just a double-time retelling of a very very tired trope. Hopefully they're going to twist it into something new, but it's hard to put much spin on it in six five-minute episodes.

1.5 As I suspected, however, GDL looks way less weird and skeevy in motion than he does in still photography. :D

I made the mistake of having something caffeinated with my lunch. Oh god. I don't normally drink caffeine. I'm practically vibrating with things to tell you.

One, debitha asked and I agreed that, given a significant portion of the pacific just got mashed by a tsunami, people should consider Red Cross donations if they have a bit to spare or donate regularly to charity. She helpfully linked me to a very informative post here. Even if you don't intend to give, you might check it out.

Two, I HAVE A QUESTION. Two, actually. First, can I re-stew canned beans? Most baked beans recipes start with "open a can of pork and beans" which is ridiculous, but I haven't got the time or patience to stew my own beans from dried stock. So the last time I made baked beans I bought a can of cooked pinto beans and used them, and that worked great, but they were a little on the firm side for my tastes. Can I just pop them in some boiling water for a few minutes, or will that toughen them further?

Second, I am incompetent at making buttermilk biscuits. How do these places make them where they're greasy and powdery on the outside and soft and cakelike on the inside? I desire to make biscuits like this.

Three, have a look at The Most Depressing Books In The English Language. I've read all but The Road, which I'd never heard of before. I admit to skimming Atlas Shrugged.

I'd take issue with Grapes of Wrath being one of the ten most depressing of all time, though, or even the most depressing of Steinbeck's work. It's filled with hope and beauty; most people miss the beauty because they're bored with the chapters where Nothing Happens, but how can anyone read about Tom's resolution to fight for the worker, and know the history of unionisation in this country, and not be uplifted? Tom won, you guys. Or at least, Tom is winning, and I believe he will win.

I don't like Grapes of Wrath as much as I like East of Eden, which is easily in my top ten favourite books ever, but East of Eden is far more depressing, even I will admit that. Sadomasochism, prostitution, murder, failure, madness, despair, spanning three generations, four if you count the narrator; it's a book about being driven from paradise.

But I don't think anyone reads East of Eden because it's a jillion pages long and, oh yeah, INCREDIBLY DEPRESSING.

And yet I love it like really good buttermilk biscuits.

3a. Does anyone have any digital copies of the Torchwood comic books? Especially the one the Barrowmans wrote?