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I like sitting at my desk after putting the percolator on in the morning and watching everyone sniff the coffee-scented air appreciatively as they arrive.

I AM THE COFFEE ELF. YOU CANNOT RESIST.

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The Weather Channel website always cracks me up (I'm easily amused). My favourite is their link about storm readiness, entitled "A Winter Storm Arrives - Prepare!" It's like some kind of alien communication. All it needs is a "Hearken!" or "Lo!" on the front to be a Bible passage.

Here's what is not funny:

A winter storm warning remains in effect from 6pm this evening to 6pm Wednesday. Sleet and heavy snow is expected Tuesday evening through Wednesday evening.

And here's the funny again, because apparently Weather Central hires mediocre fanfic writers to compose its broadcasts. The ellipses are theirs, not mine:

Some uncertainty remains regaring the timing of precipitation changing from a wintery mix to all snow...but when the changeover occurs...

WHAT? WHAT? WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN THE CHANGEOVER OCCURS?

[Error: unknown template video]

...the precipitation will remain all snow for the remainder of the event.

Oh thank god that's all.

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Sam's Three Things About The Internet.

1. Useless LJ toys to opt out of, part 399. Oh! Also! Meet spokeo. Highly creepy stalkertools. Fortunately your flist is nigh-on likely full of ways to subvert The Man. Or mine is, anyway.

2. Could this be any cooler hotter?

3. Purely nostalgia, but I'm intrigued; stand up (carefully) if you remember when 1mb of hard drive space was a big deal and you kept songs as wav files because even if you had the processing power to play an mp3, your sound card wasn't good enough for you to hear the so-called "CD Quality" sound they had? *ironic scoff*

3a. Not about the internet: We're watching Field of Dreams tonight, me for the first time. No one will ever be as awesome as James Earl Jones.