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It's wrong to slash webcomic artists, huh.

COME ON YOU GUYS BUNNY/XKCD FOR THE WIN.

I slept a lot last night. Wow did I sleep a lot. I got up every two hours to puke, then brushed my teeth (like eight times in 12 hours) and went back to sleep. And at least now the pain, she is gone.

R had a girl over last night. I feel that I should give him instruction booklets to hand out to these poor women. She tried to sneak out and I think I scared the macaroni out of her, too. I have to work on not being quite so stealthy, maybe, or perhaps it was just that she wasn't expecting anyone to be up at six am.

Other statements in the instruction booklet would include "I'm sure you're a very nice person and well worth being loved but he's just using you because he likes your dog" (trufax) and "Never eat his cooking. If you are hungry, Sam will cook for you."

I'm thinking of giving up on teaching him how to cook and instead trying to teach him how not to be kind of a dick to the women he dates.

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OH HEY guess who forgot it was casual Friday. They take it seriously around here (we're that kind of firm). I might be the best dressed man for three floors.

Also, holy carp, you guys. "Trying to Communicate" has nine pages of feedback comments. I'm a little frightened. The power of LOLcats is truly mighty.

I will close this post with a prayer. And that prayer is, please dear god, let the girl and her dog be gone when I get home. She's fine, it's her totally ill-trained dog who requires us to clear every scrap of food off the counters and eat standing up that I could do without. Definitely time to have a word with R about all this. Bless his emotionally confused and hormone-driven brain.

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R: Michael's all upset. He wants to know why he never gets any girls.
Sam: Maybe because he's a little bit of a dork and is going after shallow girls with big tits who are only interested in men with large cars?
R: "Why don't they talk to me? Why can't I get laid?"
Sam: Jesus, people need to learn to be alone once in a while. Believe it or not, getting laid is not the be-all nor the end-all of social interaction.
R: It's at least in the top three.
Sam: And speaking of which, this girl. And her dog.
R: Yeah, I don't know where it's going. I thought I liked her dog, but --
Sam: He's driving me up the fucking wall, R.
R: Okay. Okay, uh --
Sam: If you dump her and then run away and she uses me as her free-verse sounding board, I swear to god, I will strangle you in your sleep.
R: Way less fun than getting laid.
Sam: Way less fun.