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THE INTERWEBS IS BACK.

So I got to finish downloading SGA while I napped and now it is indeed time for Sam's Three Things About Stargate, Episode 5.04: ( Spoilers for The Daedalus Variations )

3a. YAY CHUCK. I think he had more lines in this episode than in all other episodes COMBINED. And oh my sweet Jesus he sounds Canadian, doesn't he?

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Oh my god, I am laughing my ass off.

I don't know if I can even go into the full story of what just happened but I'll give you the basics.

R invited a girl to come stay with us for the weekend. He's been talking to her on the phone but never met her. This is the girl I thought he broke up with after having nothing but a telephonic relationship with. Apparently I was wrong.

This girl brought her friend along to stay as well. Which in itself caused me to ask, um, what are the sleeping arrangements for this going to be? Because we have two beds and a couch, but four people. AND NOBODY BUT ME CAN HAVE MY BED OK. I kind of assumed that R's Girl would sleep with him, but I just wanted to clarify, NOBODY CAN HAVE MY BED.

Anyway, they arrived this afternoon and there was some kind of goings-on the result of which is that R's Girl is here freaking out and R's Girl's Friend is wandering the streets of Chicago, drunk and angry, and they're trying to entice her home via cellphone. It's all very eleventh-grade. I'm staying well out of it because, well, not my problem, and R's got to learn sooner or later.

I've spent the past hour or so exchanging significant "what the hell have you done?" looks with R, and observing this twenty-four-year-old girl who looks like she's nineteen and acts like she's thirteen even when she's not wigging out about her friend. And I gently pointed out to R the...maturity difference between them, which he admitted he'd noticed.

And then I had to say something I never thought I'd say to anyone, to wit: "You know I think very highly of you and I'm not trying to cockblock you but I swear to god if you bone this girl I will have less respect for you in the morning."

Because honestly. We're in our late twenties, and sleeping with a mental thirteen-year-old is creepy enough when you're still in high school yourself.

As for the friend, not to worry: she's apparently in a cab and on her way back. I expect there will be much tearful recrimination and apology. I would probably be anxious or upset about this except, again, I'm just the roommate. R's finally learning that he can't always bolt for the blues club and leave me to fix his insane ex-girlfriends tea.