(no subject)

Seriously, did I kick dogs in a previous life or something?

Coworker J and Bulletproof Temp are both out today, which is more than a little inconvenient since Coworker J was supposed to fill in for me at lunch. I've found another temp I hope can do it, except that I can't actually FIND HER. Apparently J called in sick without, you know, calling in to anyone, so I've already directed several people his way for various issues, and I'm just waiting for them all to call me at four this afternoon freaking out because he hasn't called them back.

I've had two scheduling mishaps ("I was sure you booked me for that office on Mondays!" "Err...I have you booked on Wednesdays. You booked it yourself." "But I need Mondays and there's someone in there!" etc ad nauseam) and still haven't heard back from anyone involved about the time off I'm asking for at Thanksgiving and New Year's, which at this point is their hard luck 'cause I've already bought the tickets.

GirlBoss's replacement isn't in the office either today, so I can't appeal to him for information or assistance. BossBoss is in New York and I am feeling the absence of his "Stop pestering Sam" universal policy keenly.

And it's raining.

This is what I get for leaving the house on a Monday without a tazer.

(no subject)

A conversation we had last week.

Sam: I've kind of discovered the joys of traveling without checked luggage. You have to really be careful what you pack, but it's so much faster.
Mum: Can you fit everything into a bag?
Sam: Yeah, I've got that big carry-on, and my Fear No Art bag gets by as a laptop case.
Mum: You know what you need?
Sam: *bracing for impact* What?
Mum: A really good tote bag.

Which I hoped and prayed was the end of it. Except just now a package arrived at work, from her to me, which on the one hand has greatly increased my spirits. On the other, it is a typical package from my mum. It contains:

1 light-up, stick-to-glass hallowe'en bat.
1 bag of snack-sized 3-musketeers bars.
8 tea towels. Yes. Eight.
1 small tube of caulk, labeled "From Dad".
1 package of "slow-cooker stroganoff seasoning"
A digital meat thermometer
A paper hat from the Blue Bell Ice Creamery
AND A TOTE BAG.

Nooooooooo....

(no subject)

Sam: She wanted me to recc her reimagining of the movie as a slash fic about Harry and Draco. I said, "No."
juniper200: I think "a reimagining of [title] as a slash fic about Harry and Draco" should be applied to all artistic and historical properties. Sort of an "...in bed" for the Internets.
Sam: A reimagining of Picasso's Boy With A Pipe as a slash fic about Harry and Draco. A reimagining of East of Eden as a slash fic about Harry and Draco. A reimagining of Pink Floyd's The Wall as a slash fic about Harry and Draco.
Junie: A reimagining of the Oxford English Dictionary as a slash fic about Harry and Draco.
Sam: I may have to share this with The Internets.

Go on, try it. It's fun!

(no subject)

UPS, you fell whore.

Seriously, I don't understand it. How does UPS still stay in business? Its sales people must be geniuses. UPS ground won't designate a delivery time, not even a range, and won't deliver on weekends. So now I get to take Friday off because UPS is the most pampered princess in the stables.

And I'd say, you know, I get what I pay for, except I would happily have paid for something, ANYTHING other than UPS, if the option had been offered. Unfortunately, UPS Ground is all they would use for shipping, and they don't tell you that until after you've made your purchase.

Seriously, what the hell.

(no subject)

Also:

Someone tell me I am not allowed to build a giant Ampersand Inc logo with electrical tape and construction paper on my wall.

Because I'm not in college anymore, and Edgar and Ellis don't exist.

Though the guy I know named van Scyoc, after whom I named Edgar, did phone me today.