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ARGH NO AND WRONG

I got up in the night to use the bathroom and noticed a bug crawling on the pack of toilet paper sitting in the corner. I reached out to squash it and realised it was inside the plastic packaging. Then I realised there were two.

THEN I REALISED THERE WERE DOZENS.

A single roach escaped the Epic Roachicide in my flat when I moved in, and got into the toilet paper (which I opened LAST WEEK) and had babies and now all the toilet paper is covered in tiny baby roaches.

ACTUALLY

Now all the toilet paper is covered in roaches and high-octane poison spray. BECAUSE ARGH.

*sprays it again for good measure, puts it outside on the porch*

WHY DO I NOT HAVE AN ARGH ROACHES ICON?

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I just woke up from a nightmare that consisted solely of seeing Bernard saying and do socially unacceptable things he has done in real life to someone I wanted to impress.

I can't even...

Man, Tuesday is really going to suck, huh.

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This morning I had to write an announcement for the companywide email list about our building having a pumpkin-carving contest.

I like to think I added a small smile to everyone's morning.

[Building] will be hosting a pumpkin-carving contest for Halloween this year. If anyone is interested in carving a pumpkin to further the honor and glory of [our Company], let me know so that I can requisition our pumpkin. If more than one person is interested, I suppose you could form a team. The bright world of competitive pumpkin carving awaits you!

I followed it up to BossBoss with a few appropriatelinks.

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Okay, just to clarify, I will not be using the toilet paper soaked in citrusy roach death. I am low-footprint enough that I am going to forgive myself for throwing it out.

In other news OMG WHAT TUESDAY FROM HELL. I've had three hours total of sleep, and that wasn't uninterrupted. There was a bin of mail to sort when I arrived, and then the phones started ringing and didn't stop.

And then BossBoss came out of the office and said to me, "You know hand-drafting, right?"

I said, VERY warily, "I used to..."

"Great!" he said. "Take this, and make it look nice."

He passed me two copies of a floorplan, one covered in his illegible ravings and one clean and new.

There's no actual drafting involved, just a lot of copying text, but fortunately I write well without lined paper and have very good script. And I've got used to reading his handwriting, which helps.

You know what would help more? Five more hours of sleep.

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And then my stepfather was diagnosed with a heart condition.

Actually, he's in the process of getting diagnosed. Apparently he's been having "flutters", which, you know, GREAT OF THEM TO TELL ME THIS, and this morning he had a serious enough whateveritis that they've put him on a mobile heart monitor for the next twenty-four hours. He's fine, but he'll, uh, be More Fine when they know what's causing it.

*rests head on desk*

I give up on this week.

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I talked to Dad Lucky this evening and got the fuller story -- while working out this morning he had a really bad arrhythmia, apparently. It's been going on for some time, not bad but present, and he didn't think anything of it despite his father having a pacemaker and his mother having heart surgery two years ago and his brother dying of a heart attack at age 45.

So he's on the monitor for 48 hours, but whatever it is apparently it's probably pretty minor. Nobody seems to be freaking out, so I plan to not freak out either.

I'm going to sleep, or something.

*wanders off*

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Before I do anything else, let me say this: I defy you to find anyone else on LJ who actually has and uses a "fractured penis (not mine)" post tag.

I am the worst teacher ever, but that story will never not be funny.

ANYWAY. Onwards. FANFIC.

I wrote this in about an hour last night and polished it up in my few spare minutes this afternoon. I think it will be pretty obvious why the topic of solace was on my mind. Credit for the original idea goes to exuberantself and you may find more information about that in the header notes on the fic.

Title: The Quiet Room
Rating: R
Couplings: (please to note that not all of these are ships) Gwen/Owen, Ianto/Tosh, Ianto/Jack, Ianto/Gwen/Jack
Summary: "Inside this room, no one talks," Ianto said, his voice carefully neutral. "It isn't allowed. What goes on here stays here and, outside of it, never happened. Other than that there are no other rules, in a manner of speaking."