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Sometimes I get to send out companywide emails, because I am the all-knowing Buddha of the 19th floor. I try to make them at least somewhat amusing, because I learned in undergrad that if you are slightly sarcastic in your emails then people feel like they're in on a joke and will actually read your email all the way through. In the professional sphere I have to be very careful about this, but I still manage to get a laugh or two, generally.

From my latest email:

"During this season we do see an increase in packages at the office, and we want you to get your presents as soon as possible. Please remember to come and pick them up promptly when notified! It keeps my workplace tidy and makes everyone feel jolly."

BossBoss: Did I approve the use of the word "jolly" in an email?
Sam: I'm sorry, I should have checked it with you first for excessive cheer.
BossBoss: We can't have happy people in this office!
Sam: Shall I draw up guidelines restricting jollity in company emails?
BossBoss: If you would be so kind.

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Okay, here are my questions.

If I were to receive a bucket of popcorn from the building as a "happy holidays" gift and wished to share it:

1. Will the popcorn go stale if I leave the bucket out with the lid off so people can come grab some?

2. Is it unsanitary for everyone in the office to be grabbing some popcorn? That is a lot of hands.

3. What if the lolrus comes for it?

3a. How do they get crack to taste like cheesy popcorn? It's really amazing.

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Sam's Three Things About House MD, 5.01: ( Dying Changes Everything )

3a. WTF, crazy-haired Cameron. WHAT IS UP WITH YOU AND YOUR CRAZY HAIR?

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If you haven't encountered Matthew Woodson's art, you should. He's an AIC trained artist (Aurelie, I think you'd like his style) and if you click on #85 you will see a portrait of Ellis Graveworthy as a young man.

(Not really, I don't know the guy or anything, but that is definitely Ellis.)

Oh, and #60 is a wildebeest...

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And more links, as I'm cleaning out my "store this till I can look through it" delicious account...

George Eastman House has a huge online library of what to me appears to be incredibly random shit. It's awesome, I love old photographs, but the logic is not necessarily present -- for example, there is an entire page of sheep photographs. Still, I thought I'd give you Sam's Tour of the George Eastman House Collection, featuring some of my favourite images.

Henry Granville Barker was a theatrical producer and playwright in London in the early 20th century, and worked with Shaw and Ibsen. What's he doing in this collection? Nobody knows! Maybe he's keeping Mark Twain company. Twain always looks really serious in his photos, except for this one where he looks like a huge dork.

Circus performers! Do they need any sheep?

There is one photo of an "Unidentified Hand Pump Device". Perhaps it is a part of the item described as a Bird Cage, Aquarium, and Plant Stand. Can't really argue with the description, but somehow it fails to capture the full horror of it.

Check these guys out, they know they have the bitchinest car in the entire world.

Civil War photography -- the Norfolk Naval Yard, doing a very good impression of a Roman ruin. Speaking of which, can you imagine living in a time when you saw this posted up in windows and on streetlamps?

Hey look, naked women! Doing stretching exercises! Freida Kahlo disapproves!

What.

I think this was an ad for war bonds. Or something. God only knows.

This is Davd Tennant with a chocolate Dalek. George Eastman House didn't have this in their collection, I just found it and thought it was hilarious.

Guess who this is. Yep, it's Charlie Chaplin.

I'd like to close with this woman. She's got a camera and a plan. You can tell.