R got back from the funeral today, and came over to watch Wheel because he has no TV, poor bastard. He seems in good spirits – could be he's just happy to be home. He says the funeral wasn't as bad as he was expecting but was way, way more awkward.
Still, we're in good cheer.
R: I'm gonna sing you a song.
Sam: Should I be scared?
R: I........
Farted in your room, I farted in your room
I farted in your domicile,
I farted in your room.
Also, there was a fishing show being advertised on TV, and R knew who the guy was, and I said, “How do you know that?”
R: I was on the show once. I caught a big-ass fish and he put me on his show.
Sam: What.
R: Yeah, I caught the biggest fish of that breed in all of Indiana that year. At a wedding.
Sam: At a wedding.
R: It was near a pond.
Sam: You went fishing at a wedding.
R: All the kids were fishing and I caught this fish, and the people getting married made me weigh it and it was the biggest fish caught that month. So they entered it in a contest and it turned out it was the biggest fish in its breed all year.
Sam: I'm still back on you fishing at a WEDDING. I don't even know how to react to this.
R: The best part was, you win a prize for catching the biggest fish that year. The prize was a shitload of tackle and to be on the fishing show and a keg of beer. I WAS NINE.
Every time I think I know all there is know about him, he tells me he was a stepdancer or won a keg from fishing at a wedding WHEN HE WAS NINE or something. Next he's going to say he's from the future or something.
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