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Mondays are always intense, but seriously, I know the morning existed. WHERE DID IT GO. I ate a cheese sandwich at one point, that's the most vivid memory I have of this morning.

twirlynoodle tells me that Chios is still standing after their annual Fireworks Battle. Next year, man, I WANT TO BE THERE.

I've been doing a terrible job of Poetry Month for a bit, so here's some new versifyin' for you. Well, when I say new, I mean "something I love and have posted every year".

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
by T. S. Eliot

Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherized upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question...
Oh, do not ask, "What is it?"
( Let us go and make our visit. )

Happy Birthday Queen Elizabeth Please Don't Read This

Bugger bugger bugger!

GWEN. RHYS. I need festive Welsh dishes and fairy cakes! Rhys, I know you can do amazing things with snacks. I'm on my knees and not in the fun way!

HART, drag yourself in and bathe. I will hose you down if I must and you won't enjoy it as much as it sounds like you will.

ANDY, I need the streets cleared to the Plass tomorrow, two-thirty-ish. Can I count on you? How'd you like to meet the Queen?

MARTHA, can you help decorate? I know, I know, you're a doctor and I'm asking you to hang banners, but I doubt she needs a check-up. OH, PICK OUT SOME TEAS! Do that first!

DOCTOR, keep being charming, you're doing brilliantly.

JACK, BATHE MAX. FIND YOUR UNIFORM, she loves your uniform. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO COOK FOR HER.

T, erm, please reassure me that the Queen doesn't die tomorrow. SOD SPOILERS.

She's coming at three and bringing the corgis. QUICK, SOMEONE TEACH MYFANWY NOT TO EAT CORGIS. OR PRINCE CHARLES IF HE SHOWS UP.

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I am fonted out.

I've looked at bazillions of fonts, to the point where the word "Nameless" has lost all meaning. Most of them seem to fall into one of three categories:

1. Urban-hip-edgy
2. Chaos-comedy-chick lit
3. The font you picked out to make the cover of your 7th grade history report really look bitchin. (don't lie, we all did this)
3a. Symbols.

It's very hard to find something that says "Rural" and "Austere" at the same time...