(no subject)

After last time, when I didn't post for a few days because it wasn't on my to-do list, I put "POST TO LIVEJOURNAL" on my to-do list.

Under "recurring things you need to do".

And the subheading "anywhere" (as opposed to "only at work" or "only at home").

THE LIST RULES ALL.

Which is just as well, since I'm exhausted; it feels more like a Friday than a Monday, I suspect due mainly to my malfunctioning internal alarm clock. I get to go offsite tomorrow, which is good in that it means a short day for me, bad in that it means a lot of running around and disorganisation and expectations that I be competent.

I am competent, you know, it's just I hate it when people expect it of me because then I have to be reliable, too.

(no subject)

In all the insanity of today I forgot to tell you guys about the new line in my job description:

VIRTUAL RECEPTIONIST.

We're expanding our operation to a new floor of the building we're located in, but that floor unfortunately did not have space, and we do not have budget, for a receptionist. The new floor doesn't connect to the 19th floor via a stairwell like our others do, so people can't come in on the 19th and then descend.

BossBoss, who is a total tech-head, managed to wrangle budgeting for a personal videoconference rig at my desk. People will come to the door of our new floor, push a button, and MY FACE WILL APPEAR on a video screen.

"Welcome!" I will say. "I'm Sam, your VIRTUAL RECEPTIONIST. Who are you here to see?"

And then they'll tell Virtual Me and I'll buzz them in and ring that person to come get them. Once it's all installed and I've been doing it for a few months, I'll qualify for a salary increase based on greater responsibility.

I'm going to get paid to be Max Headroom.

This is the next best thing to living inside the internet.

(no subject)

OH LOOK, Sam's posting again.

I forgot two MORE things!

One, to recommend and advertise fandometrics, which is a new place to study fandom, the way we think and why we do what we do. Looks like fun! Possibly a lot of maths, but fun!

Two, to moan about the fact that it is NOT a short day for me tomorrow because like an ass I scheduled physical therapy for five pm. I'll just show up early and ask if they can fit me in, and if not there's a pub nearby. I bet I'd be way more relaxed at PT after a beer.

(Three, PT is going well, but I get Measured tomorrow to see how far I've come and I don't feel that I've done as well as I could. There's still a fairly high level of pain, especially in the evenings. Still, my therapist knows how to deal the crack: once I'm done with my exercises I get a glorious ankle massage and ten minutes with the ice pack of true love.)

(no subject)

I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT JUST HAPPENED TO ME.

Okay in advance, this was a whole avalanche of stupid, and I was not immune to it.

I WAS ASLEEP. And I woke to the sound of my bedroom door -- the one that for some reason known only to God opens directly into our landing foyer -- creaking. So I got out of bed and looked through the peep hole in my kitchen door, through which I can see my bedroom door, and the guy who lives across the hall and I can only presume his girlfriend are trying to pry my bedroom door open WITH A SCREWDRIVER.

Here is the first dumb thing I did: I opened my kitchen door.

"What are you doing?" I asked. "That's my bedroom door."

"It's locked," he said. "We're trying to pry it open."

I KNOW.

"Why are you trying to pry my bedroom door open?" (He said, right before the burglars shot him.)

"I thought it goes to outside," he said. I'm guessing he meant, he thought it was a stairwell that we didn't have access to?

"It doesn't go to outside, it goes to my bedroom," I said. "It's locked and there's a lamp in front of it."

Now, I know this is a stupid, stupid conversation. But I feel okay because I HAD BEEN ASLEEP 30 SECONDS BEFORE, and because he trumped me cold.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

Wait, let's revisit that: he asked me if I was sure my bedroom door did not SECRETLY, MAGICALLY open on his side of the wall into NARNIA OR SOMETHING I DON'T EVEN KNOW.

At which point I shut and locked my kitchen door, walked through the living room to the bedroom, and BANGED ON THE DOOR.

"I AM SPEAKING TO YOU THROUGH THE DOOR," I said. "I AM NOT OUTSIDE."

"OH," he yelled back. "OKAY."

I'm going back to bed. The world is too stupid right now for me to be conscious and liveblogging it.