Your Face Is Turned, 8/9

Sam's fanfiction archive has moved. The story formerly found here may now be found at:

http://sam-storyteller.dreamwidth.org/142533.html

Thank you for your patience!

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Yesterday I went home and promptly took a nap, and it MESSED EVERYTHING UP. By three pm today I am going to be a wreck.

But I have posted Chapter Eight of Your Face Is Turned! Please enjoy. :) Only one more chapter to go now.

Actually, pleasingly, whilst in the throes of posting this monster I finished a second fanfic entitled Programmed Response, so I'm torn as to whether I should start posting that on Saturday, or wait till next week so people don't tangle the two up together. It's not quite as long, five chapters, and I think it's the first longfic I've told entirely from Jack's point of view, which was incredibly fun. My Jack inhabits a rich, dark, humorous, bipolar landscape in his head, and I've never poked around in it this much before.

He felt kind of crap about killing Mary, even if she deserved it. He had now officially killed two of his employees' girlfriends. Frankly, if this kept up, it was going to start looking like spite. On the other hand, what was it with Torchwood agents hooking up with evil on legs?

That probably wasn't very fair, but Jack was tired after talking with Toshiko -- thanks, Tosh, glad you couldn't get into my brain because I'm spiritually dead -- and frustrated with the world. He was beginning to understand old men who complained about the glory days and despaired of their grandchildren's intelligence. Sometimes you couldn't help but look back on all your mistakes and wonder if everyone else was going to have to make them too before they'd listen to you.

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Before I forget -- one of the Cafe is going to be driving from Boston to Seattle next week, and is soliciting advice on places to stop, things to see, and stuff to do. Check it out if you have any tips to share! :)

So, this morning our Human Resources people emailed us that our Employee Assistance Program website (sage advice for employees, to keep them from going postal) was getting an overhaul. I don't know how many people were around for the last time I perused EAP, but their articles are HILARIOUS. If I can find the quote about the Awkward Dance again, I'll post it. They also had the most useless dating tips for lesbians ever.

I decided to go back to the EAP site before it got overhauled and share some new horrors with you. So far my favourite article titles are:

A Gay Lovers' Precohabitational Reality Check
The Unique Joys Of Mature Pets
How To Be S.I.N.C.E.R.E.

All of which sound like they should be fanfic titles. Perhaps the best line in the whole thing is Mistake #7 in the "Eleven Common Mistakes Negotiators Make": Too Much Grinding. Jack Harkness would argue there no such thing.

ETA on the casting sheet leak: It's an April Fool. A cheating April Fool, since it was posted yesterday. Ah well.