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I DECLARE A DOONA DAY.

Among the many lovely things we have acquired from Australians -- vegemite, refrigerators, notepads, the Bloomin Onion -- none is so lovely as the phrase "Doona Day". Australians didn't invent the idea of taking a sick day off work for the sake of one's mental health, but they did give it the most charming name.

I plan to watch a documentary on the history of the Russian Tsars, eat cookies, and read fanfic.

In fact, I'm going to have a cookie right now.

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I just checked my work email to make sure the place hadn't fallen apart without me today, and it turns out this afternoon we got a peek at the proposed layouts for the (super-inconvenient and vastly undesired) new office space we'll be moving to sometime in the next fifteen months. They've asked for detailed feedback about what we want and need from a workspace.

Who wants to bet I can tactfully but devastatingly convey the disgust over this move of myself and the entire staff in a thousand words or less and not get fired? I think I can. I've done more with less.

Well, I love having a view, but I guess in our new high-crime and primarily residential location there's not much to have a view of, so the fact that you've lined the windows with offices and cut off the natural light to the cubicles doesn't really matter. Parking is so important to many people now that there's no public transit near our future offices, though I know it'll be hard to decide who gets permits for the garage when we've only been allocated 120 parking spaces for a staff of over 200. But hey, you did repeatedly say we'll have a Chipotle nearby, and I know how excited we're supposed to be that we'll be losing easy access to the diverse dining, retail, and service offerings downtown but keeping our proximity to a faux-Mexican fast food restaurant. Don't think we're not grateful; we know it could have been a Taco Bell.

Don't worry. I'll be gentler than that. Mostly.

On another note, I have two Radio Free Monday items that didn't quite get in on time but are time sensitive:

twirlynoodle let me know that Chase is doing a competition on Facebook, with a grant going to the organization receiving the most votes (voting ends Saturday, hence the hustle). Independent Shakespeare Company, based in Los Angeles, is in the running and could use your votes! You can vote a second time at Chase Giving, if you're a Chase account holder. ISC does free Shakespeare in the park each summer, and this past summer had some of their equipment stolen, so they could really use the help.

And a local shout-out: supertailz let me know that MC Bar, at the corner of Ashland and Blackhawk in Chicago, is doing cheap PBRs and Patron shots for anyone protesting as a striking teacher or with the striking teachers. They're packing the bar tonight!