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Nov. 29th, 2012 05:35 pmThere is a NEW BURGER JOINT in town! Like, up in my neighborhood, a block south of my train station.
It's called VOPS, I don't know why. It can't have been there long, because as a hamburger aficionado I monitor the beef-related activities of this neighborhood very closely. I stopped off for dinner and they make quite a good burger, plus their fries are plentiful.
At some point I'm going to risk my delicate fucking constitution and order the TURDUCKEN SAUSAGE they claim to serve.
It was jammed with hipsters while I was there, but such is my lot in life at this point. Our neighborhood is not gentrifying; it's hipsterfying. Every day more skinny jeans and ironic beards walk into and out of my life. I must learn to peacefully coexist, somehow.
I worried a little bit about Byron's, my best beloved horrible burger joint that is a block north of the train. The greasy spoon is a dying breed, in part because a true greasy spoon is always two points from failing a health inspection, and people understandably want to eat somewhere clean and hygenic. But I love Byron's and so I worried that VOPS was going to put them out of business.
And then I realised, no they won't.
No burgers-and-dogs place in Wrigleyville will ever go out of business as long as the Cubs are there. We could be wall to wall with Vienna Sausage signs from here to the stadium and on a summer afternoon there would still be a line at Byron's preventing me from getting onion straws with alacrity.
At least they'll scare off the hipsters.
It's called VOPS, I don't know why. It can't have been there long, because as a hamburger aficionado I monitor the beef-related activities of this neighborhood very closely. I stopped off for dinner and they make quite a good burger, plus their fries are plentiful.
At some point I'm going to risk my delicate fucking constitution and order the TURDUCKEN SAUSAGE they claim to serve.
It was jammed with hipsters while I was there, but such is my lot in life at this point. Our neighborhood is not gentrifying; it's hipsterfying. Every day more skinny jeans and ironic beards walk into and out of my life. I must learn to peacefully coexist, somehow.
I worried a little bit about Byron's, my best beloved horrible burger joint that is a block north of the train. The greasy spoon is a dying breed, in part because a true greasy spoon is always two points from failing a health inspection, and people understandably want to eat somewhere clean and hygenic. But I love Byron's and so I worried that VOPS was going to put them out of business.
And then I realised, no they won't.
No burgers-and-dogs place in Wrigleyville will ever go out of business as long as the Cubs are there. We could be wall to wall with Vienna Sausage signs from here to the stadium and on a summer afternoon there would still be a line at Byron's preventing me from getting onion straws with alacrity.
At least they'll scare off the hipsters.
