(no subject)
Oct. 18th, 2006 05:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cblj_backupI'm glad my interviews are over. They psych me up, even the ones that don't "matter", and of course making yourself seem way more sane than you are is always tiring. So I come home and I've got all this adrenaline and nothing to do with it. I've put off taking my last two qualification tests for the temp agencies because I know I'd get impatient and fail them, though I did score five points above percentile on the Powerpoint and "Employee Attitude" tests. Also, the second typing test for today's agency netted me a 115 wpm.
I don't want to read and certainly don't want to write; I don't even want to cook, but I'm not hungry so that hardly matters. I don't want to go out, I don't want to plan to go out, but I wander around my little flat restlessly. I could hang some posters (my walls are still bare except for a dozen nails with paper maps impaled on them) but I'd get impatient with that too, and anyway I have no tacks.
It isn't loneliness; I've lived alone for a third of my life and, even if it were, I have plenty of people I could talk to via IM or phone. I'm too twitchy though. Network TV is boring (cable wouldn't be any better, I have a feeling). I feel a bit like I'm "sundowning", which is a term for the increased agitation and confusion that many people with dementia suffer toward the end of the day.
I'm happy living here, and I feel like I'm finally on an upswing and headed for employment. That's very satisfying, and takes some of the stress off me, it really does. My flat is reasonably well arranged, I have some books and my CDs and most of the cooking implements I need, I have good healthy food in the fridge and warm clothing.
I'm just restless. I'm sure it's the interview comedown, but it's annoying all the same. I even tried cleaning my desk, but that took all of thirty seconds.
HI. LET ME INTRODUCE MYSELF, MY NAME IS HOLDEN CAULFIELD.
*sighs* I'm going to go take a shower and a nap.
I don't want to read and certainly don't want to write; I don't even want to cook, but I'm not hungry so that hardly matters. I don't want to go out, I don't want to plan to go out, but I wander around my little flat restlessly. I could hang some posters (my walls are still bare except for a dozen nails with paper maps impaled on them) but I'd get impatient with that too, and anyway I have no tacks.
It isn't loneliness; I've lived alone for a third of my life and, even if it were, I have plenty of people I could talk to via IM or phone. I'm too twitchy though. Network TV is boring (cable wouldn't be any better, I have a feeling). I feel a bit like I'm "sundowning", which is a term for the increased agitation and confusion that many people with dementia suffer toward the end of the day.
I'm happy living here, and I feel like I'm finally on an upswing and headed for employment. That's very satisfying, and takes some of the stress off me, it really does. My flat is reasonably well arranged, I have some books and my CDs and most of the cooking implements I need, I have good healthy food in the fridge and warm clothing.
I'm just restless. I'm sure it's the interview comedown, but it's annoying all the same. I even tried cleaning my desk, but that took all of thirty seconds.
HI. LET ME INTRODUCE MYSELF, MY NAME IS HOLDEN CAULFIELD.
*sighs* I'm going to go take a shower and a nap.
