Sam's Backup Page

POTLUCK ON LJ!

I've got the turkey, Tai says she'll bring the goat cheese bread and apple pie (dude, don't look at me, I didn't ask for goat cheese bread) and someone had better run to the store for more condensed milk.

What are you bringing?

"This is the problem with LJ; we all think we are so close, and we know nothing about each other."

And I like it that way. *wink*

(that meme? Going to be the death of me. I'm awful at thinking up questions!)

So instead, tell me what your favourite food is. Recipes welcome.

As some of you know, I spent too much time with Anarchists this summer, and so now I forego the Institutional Repression of the "college rule" lined-paper notebook. Even the title is imperialistic. So I rebel. I use a 9x11 sketchbook, and have learned to write really straight without having to follow small blue lines. This leads to even more doodling than is usual for a graduate student in unstimulating classes, however, and so I tend to fill these sketchbooks up relatively quickly.

I've just filled up book #1 for this school year, and so, as I was going through ripping out notes for the File, Study, Or Burn game, I came across a plethora of classroom witticisms.

I provide them here for your delectation, delight, and occasional scorn. And because I don't want to store them on my hard drive.

IN DRAMATURGY:

I'm sorry, I don't mean to do it but I keep pointing at you every time I say 'whore'... -- Professor, to a female student

IN RENAISSANCE

On military service: When you get two hundred guys together with no women around, we're just gonna do stupid shit.
On Renaissance romance: Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, gory suicide pact...
On Book-and-Heretic Burning: You don't just have to burn the book, you can burn the author with it.
On Spanish Culture: It's honour, but it's really religious honour. Like honour in a hairshirt.

"It's like the ideas Erasmus put forth. The Erasma....Erasm....ussian....I'm really trying to make that an adjective."
"Erasmanian?"
"Shut up, Sam."
"Hey, you liked it when I said you were Iagian." *professor makes funny face* "You know. Like Iago. Iagian."

"What do you think of prostitution?"
"Gotta have it!"

"Got questions? Ask a Libertarian!"
"Can you get me a boyfriend?"
"I could if I was a Libertarian!"

From my Art History professor:

What about the subtlety? IT'S NOT THERE!
It's not good art, but it's cute. Like the Hello Kitty of Rome.
Venus de Milo seems very dynamic, and and also has a huge fat ass.
You remember Caesar, he was in all the newspapers...
It's like Hollywood Squares, only not for idiots.

Other Art History Quotes:

"Ancient Romans used paintings as teaching tools. They didn't have slides."
"Yeah, the nearest photomat was two thousand years away."

"It's not hard to draw a horse's ass."
"But it IS genius to make it the focal point of the work."
"Yeah, a real tour de horse." (This was me. Sorry.)

"But you see, Darius can't escape Alexander's advance, because he can't seem to get his chariot turned around."
"If I were Darius I'd be 'fuck this chariot' and run the hell away."
"If I were Darius, I wouldn't have pissed off Alexander the Great."

"If it's two stories tall and it used to be on the floor of a Roman bath, what part was it probably in?"
"The big part."

"What's the first thing you notice when you look at this painting?"
"He's nude?"
"Well...yes. Yes, he is. Do you need a cold shower?"
"Not with that tiny thing."