(no subject)

[cblj_backup]

I just got an email at my work address advertising for a waxing studio in Austin called, my hand to god, "Waxing: The Studio". I do not know how I got on their mailing list; I don't require waxing, but thanks for thinking of me, I guess. I suspect my mother is somehow behind it. It's not like Waxing: The Studio is swapping mailing lists with the Blanton Museum of Art or something. (And if they are, I need a word with the Blanton's communications coordinator.)

The thing is, just getting an email from Waxing: The Studio, that's not the funny part.

The ad is a coupon for a free Longhorns Logo Vajazzle between now and Saturday.

If you don't know what Vajazzling is, I suggest you wait to google it until you have a private moment at home.

You will then understand why this is hilarious on many, many levels.

Comments

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

Longhorns Logo Vajazzle

Well you *did* say it looked like the female reproductive system...

On the other hand, I'm tempted to ask you to send it to me so I can guarantee my boyfriend never sleeps with me again scare the hell out of my boyfriend.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

If you're in Austin, I would be happy to gift you with a vajazzling. I won't even demand photos. :D

[rm.livejournal.com]

OMFG!

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

I KNOW RIGHT.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

The Vajazzle is so your date will take the bull by the horns.

I wonder if I can get a Penn State Vazazzle. A Nittany Lion. On the other hand, I could just glue on some fun fur and a felt smiley face.



On second thought, it could put my husband off sex for life.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

GOOGLY EYES, Foxy. GOOGLY EYES.

[calliope-jones.livejournal.com]

Can I just ask... can anyone tell me why? Why would you do this? Like... Sam, you're a guy, is that attractive in any way?

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

I don't think women do it for their men. I think they just do it to feel fancy. At least, I hope that's the reason.

If I were with a woman and she pulled down her pants and sparkled, I have to admit it would take me a few seconds to recover. I'm not saying vajazzling is a deal breaker, but I might need a glass of water first.

[cobweb-diamond.livejournal.com]

THAT. IS. SO AMAZING.


I cannot think of ANYTHING more glamourous than vajazzling the logo of a sports team onto one's lady garden. What a marvel of civilisation.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

I can only imagine it's big with cheerleaders.

[frogy.livejournal.com]

Your life is amazing.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

It's certainly unusual.

[bookwormsarah.livejournal.com]

There was a genius article (http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/feb/06/lucy-mangan-lalaland-liz-hurley) in the Guardian a few months back about this being the new trend. Perfectly safe and the comments are fun to read too.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure that's where I first heard about it. My reaction was a mixture of surprise, intrigue, and perplexity.

[pocketmouse]

Not a fan of the Longhorns, I take it.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Not picked out in gemstones on my girlfriend's genital area, especially.

[butterbuns.livejournal.com]

There's some sort of Twilight joke here about sparkling under your pants, but I am LOLing way too hard to even attempt to think of one that makes sense.

[bookwormsarah.livejournal.com]

Everyone can be an undercover vampire?

[imaginarycircus.livejournal.com]

Next up? Vajazzacize!

[kessie.livejournal.com]

I... well, it would probably short-circuit my urge to have sex. Mostly because I would probably be staring in bewilderment and thinking, Why, why, why?

[svz-insanity.livejournal.com]

I agree so hard. (ALSO HI RIA. <3)

[introductory.livejournal.com]

KEEP AUSTIN WEIRD, I believe the saying goes.

Man, every time I regret moving to this city, things like this pop up that make me almost glad I moved here. (Although I do regret taking student housing, since there is no such thing as sleeping on a Friday night when you live on 24th Street.)

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

...there is no such thing as sleeping on a Friday night when you live on 24th Street.

Yeah, but at least you get all the good food trucks?

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

I...I can't even count the levels.

[tardis-stowaway.livejournal.com]

The icon says it all.

Well, it doesn't accurately convey the way I laughed for about a minute solid upon reading the words "free Longhorns Logo Vajazzle."

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Longhorns Logo Vajazzle sounds like the title of a mediocre garage band, actually...

[kallaneboi.livejournal.com]

My day just took a turn from "weird" into "downright bizarre."

I'll... be over here. Not Googling that at work.

[firynze.livejournal.com]

...if your mother is suggesting waxing for you, I wish she'd go back to the tote bags. O_o

Also, I do not want to know what vajazzling is. It sounds like an act performed between two consenting adults and a consenting Beadazzler, and I do not need that in my life.

[bloodrebel333.livejournal.com]

It's so much better than that.

[thisdaydreamer.livejournal.com]

Wow. I don't think I could ever bring myself to delete that email.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

IT WAS SURPRISINGLY EASY.

Waxing, ack.

[darthhellokitty.livejournal.com]

OK, aside from the utter, delightful HILARITY, there may be an explanation. I was getting a lot of email bounce messages, and apparently that's a fun, new form of spam - I guess if you bite, they know it's a real address.

NOW, I'm getting a lot of "out of office" messages. Today I got:



Maybe they want me to respond in horror "I did not contact the MaxPenis team!" And then, gotcha!

[auguris]

I just want to know who Max is, and why his penis has a team.

[bloodrebel333.livejournal.com]

I desperately need a shiny bull over there. Desperately.

[quean-of-swords.livejournal.com]

I AM LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW. I had never heard of 'vajazzling' before, but I thought, "That sounds like they..." and then I looked it up, and they DO. *dies*

[buhfly.livejournal.com]

(I was linked here by illian.)

A free Longhorns Logo Vajazzle! HOW CAN YOU PASS THAT UP? *dying*

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Well, for a start, I don't have the right equipment down there...:D

[bluejeans07.livejournal.com]

*is incoherent with laughter*

Ah- I... oh god-

*more laughter. Helplessly waves hands*

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THIS EXISTED TILL NOW.

[travels-in-time.livejournal.com]

Good Lord, the things you learn on the internet. o_O

[mrsalemp.livejournal.com]

Oh my. I could have happily lived my entire life without knowing about vajazzling.

[marymac.livejournal.com]

The thing is, it's glued on, right? There? Just, ow?
*flail*