(no subject)

[cblj_backup]

Today was so surreal. I keep trying to write a coherent post about it and being all "Wait, should I talk about my train getting diverted this morning, or about the breakfast pastry war that happened in the kitchen, or about BossBoss questioning me about the book I loaned him..."

Let's go with that. BossBoss is reading Made To Stick, but he's reading the copy I loaned him, which has all my underlining and margin notes in it. I did not realise this would be a little bit like him reading my brain.

He regularly sends me policy documents and responses to "challenging" emails, so that I can look them over, fix any spelling problems, and make recommendations for clarity and tact. This afternoon he sent me an email SO PROUD because he'd used the "inverted pyramid" from the book to make his point. It was very well done, too! Now I'm worried my usefulness as an editor may be coming to a close. Fortunately he's putting me in charge of building access --

Oh wait, yeah, let's talk about this: I'm now in charge of building access. Remember how we were revamping our security? Turns out, it's now my job to make sure everyone's access cards work when they're trying to get into our offices. With a few clicks on a website, I can totally revoke someone's access to our office, OR I can give them supreme unlimited 24/7 access to everything. I can lock every door leading into our offices, on every floor we occupy, without leaving my desk.

The potential for shenanigans is very high. I would never abuse this kind of power, but a man can dream.

In the end it's a good thing. For one, it means if we get news that an insane client is on his way to our offices to wreak havoc, I can put our office into lockdown in about thirty seconds. Not that this happens a great deal, but in the coming-on-three-years I've been with the company, we've had two insane clients and one enraged ex-staff-member, and I have a vested interest in crazy people not being able to get into our office.

Mind you, given the debate that broke out this morning over banana nut muffins, the crazy people might be in the office already...

Comments

[mamculuna.livejournal.com]

Power corrupts...we are watching for more.

Diverted train? Pastry war?

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

The train SAID it was going to be diverted and then surprise-wasn't after everyone got off at the transfer stop. I stayed on, because transferring wouldn't have done me any good, and then it ended up not getting diverted anyway :D

[mamculuna.livejournal.com]

The CTA loves you.

[caffienekitty]

Every office should have a button that can be pressed to keep the crazy people out. I want one. I'd never hear from Boss1 again.

*toddles off to Google that book*

[rednwhiterose.livejournal.com]

Shenanigans + BossBoss....

oh the possibilites.

*manic!evil grin*

[firynze.livejournal.com]

Now you just need to get the power to lock individual doors within your offices, so you can lock the banana nut muffin rioters in a room until they're tuckered out. Or dead of muffins to the skull. Whichever.

[twirlynoodle.livejournal.com]

These are your missions, should you choose to accept them:

As Official Gatekeeper, you absolutely must challenge all comers with 'Who goes there, friend or foe?' And make a checklist of Monty Python and the Holy Grail' references to get through on any given day.

[aunty_marion]

Shouldn't the password be 'Pedro mellon a minno'?

[ysabet.livejournal.com]

Eventually? Through the machinations of BossBoss, you will be given power over everything. At work, at least, I mean. Not outside work, though that would be cool too-- when you get power over the weather, man, me and you need to have a talk.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Oh man, I hope I get to control the weather, that would be awesome.

[nutmeg3.livejournal.com]

A good muffin is worth fighting over. Just sayin'.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

No, you don't understand. Your boss just read World War Z and is doing the only logical thing.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

He is actually a big one for disaster preparedness, and he and one of my other bosses used to get into huge debates over the question of "Zombie apocalypse: do you want a gun or a machete?"

[dbzlives.livejournal.com]

The correct answer is, of course, both.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Gun, of course. Keep the flying zombie goop far away. And if things go bad, leave a bullet for yourself.

[bloodanna.livejournal.com]

Cricket bat, duh.

[eccentrikita.livejournal.com]

You want a silenced .22 rifle, a machete, a crowbar or a decent hammer, and a handgun.

*Hasn't spent any time thinking about this at all, nope.*

[guestyperson.livejournal.com]

That's quite the vote of confidence! Go you.

[corvoidea.wordpress.com (from livejournal.com)]

All I can think is...."I am the Key Master, are you the Gate Keeper?"

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

ZOOOOOOOOOOOL!

[guestyperson.livejournal.com]

Just remember Sam, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES!

[rednwhiterose.livejournal.com]

and whatever you do...DON'T THINK OF THE STAY-PUFF MARSHMALLOW MAN!!!!

[neifile7.livejournal.com]

What's next? Why, dispensing with the computer for lockdowns, natch. What Dickinson poem do you intend to use?

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

ELIOT ALL THE WAY. We are the hollow men!

[neifile7.livejournal.com]

You have measured out your life in lockdown cues!

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

LOL! Do I dare to lock a door...

[neifile7.livejournal.com]

I shall wear the Captain's visor, and walk the nineteenth floor!
I have heard the cell phones pinging, such a bore.

I do not think that they will ping for me.

[ihlanya.livejournal.com]

I can't help it. whenever I read your Office Ninja posts, I imagine Dennis from Just Shoot Me.....

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Okay, now I am going be doing this in the future. Dennis is AWESOME.

[ihlanya.livejournal.com]

OMG I LOVE DENNIS!!!!!

He is so bitchy and fabulous!!!!!

I WANT TO BE HIM.

Also? The fact that Just Shoot Me is only available on Region 1 sucks dead bears. Jussayin'.

[bloodanna.livejournal.com]

I'd google your dvd player, it might be one that you can input a code into and make it read all Regions. I know there are a few that do (cyberhome being one brand) as I had to do that for my Black Books dvds.

[ihlanya.livejournal.com]

I have some really cheap shit dvd player :(
I doubt it would do anything other than straightforward stuff. It probably won't even play pr0n.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

It's a DVDon't player?

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

LOL, is that the short blond guy?

[metallumai.livejournal.com]

As gatekeeper, you should be aware of this:http://www.npr.org/blogs/krulwich/2010/12/08/131876027/60-wild-coyotes-patrol-chicago-and-occasionally-s

[kpreid.livejournal.com]

Clearly you need a Big Red Button attached to your computer.

[supergreak.livejournal.com]

Captain Jack says, "Can you let me in after hours? Pretty please? I'm bringing Ianto..."


And also, banana nut muffins are awesome, but I see no reason to debate over them.

[dreamwaffles.livejournal.com]

I just wanted to let you know that I accidentally stayed up two hours past my bedtime until I finished Made to Stick, which I found completely fascinating. Thank you so much for mentioning it, and now I'm immensely curious as to what your notes are...

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

AHA! Glad you enjoyed it! :)

Most of my notes are just underlines and "refer back to" and correlating techniques in the book with creative writing techniques.

[dreamwaffles.livejournal.com]

Ah, fair enough. XD

One of the things it helped me see is why fanfiction in general is so effective, even crappy fanfiction. The characters, and often the setting, are familiar! We expect them to act a certain way.

But then someone like you comes along and sticks Neal and Peter in an urban fantasy prison magic setting and the rest of us can't help but follow along...

I'll definitely be using this to help me with my science writing. I'm a biology major, I suffer from the Curse of Knowledge, I can't remember what it's like to not know what a methlyated subgroup on a chromosome is. It's the tapper thing! (And now I totally want to try that.)

Thanks again for recommending it.