(no subject)

[cblj_backup]

Today is April Fool's Day, and while I have given up pranking -- frankly it's too much energy -- it will always be immortalised, for me, as the day I first encountered the Fractured Penis (not mine). I would be remiss if I did not, once more, share this story with all of you.

My hand to god, every word of this story is true.

You will have questions. I promise most of them will be answered if you read to the end, including the all important "How do you fracture an appendage which has no bone?" Just...keep reading.

Comments

[annemjw.livejournal.com]

This is one of your best stories. Just... so good.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

It really is. I'm going to dine on this the rest of my life.

[tardis-stowaway.livejournal.com]

I momentarily interpreted your I'm going to dine on this the rest of my life literally and was INCREDIBLY DISTURBED. Then my brain started working properly.

Anyway, that story is amazing, as is your discussion of why the lies are even worse than the truth.

[iamshadow.livejournal.com]

This story is never not funny. I have read this before, several times, and I still had tears of laughter at the 'excuses' section. It's about as ridiculous as the 'things stuck up the bottom' excuses I've heard.

[carmy-w.livejournal.com]

I read the whole saga the last time you used the FP(NM) tag, and nearly choked myself laughing.

[bookwormsarah.livejournal.com]

There was a really, really obnoxious person in my college at university. He was loud and obnoxious when drunk, was sexist, homophobic and thoroughly offensive. When he broke his penis we all tried so hard not to laugh.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHA. Justice is sweet.

[helle-d.livejournal.com]

Now I remember why my April Fool's Day was incomplete.

[stephani673.livejournal.com]

This is not related to a broken penis (yours or anyone else's). (I just hate April Fools Day.)

My grandpa got his draft notice from the Navy on April Fools Day. He thought it was a very well-crafted joke -- it wasn't.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

WORST PRANK EVER D:

[stephani673.livejournal.com]

He thought so too. :)

[firynze.livejournal.com]

I still love this story.

[rednwhiterose.livejournal.com]

You need a Barney from How I Met Your Mother icon for this story, because it is truly LEGEN.........wait for it........DAIRY!

[nutmeg3.livejournal.com]

Must not laugh at someone else's pain. Must not laugh at someone else's pain. Must not-- ::gives up::

[ncp.livejournal.com]

You know, I just realized how horrifying this would be for a married couple. How would that conversation go?

Relative: Happy Anniversary!
Wife: Uh. Thanks.
Relative: Did you do anything special?
Wife: Uh. We spent it int he ER?
Relative: *sympathetically* Ohhhhh, that's too bad! What happened?

[illian.livejournal.com]

But they could honestly use "She slipped and fell on my dick."!

[mistressindi.livejournal.com]

I love having today for a birthday. It's like the pranks perform themselves and the penises fracture themselves ALL FOR ME! Mwahahaha.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Speaking as a guy...I'm happier NOT knowing.

[ihlanya.livejournal.com]

I worship you.

[ihlanya.livejournal.com]

.. in unusual positions.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

...vigorously? *eyebrow waggle*

[ihlanya.livejournal.com]

Not so vigorously that an appendage might be damaged :p

[luxanebulis.livejournal.com]

There once was a guy with a penis bone. The full story is at http://scicurious.wordpress.com/2010/07/09/friday_weird_science_the_human/. It turns out that if a guy has syphilis and wears corsets regularly, the irritation caused by the corset down there can cause bone to form.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Holy shit. I'm totally adding this to the original post. WOW.

[luxanebulis.livejournal.com]

That blogger often writes about science of sex, which is always a fun read!