(no subject)

[cblj_backup]

Since college, and without knowing why, I've had nightmares where I've had a limited amount of time in which to pack up an apartment and either get out of the one I'm in or get to the one where I'm going. The problem in the dream is that I never seem to be able to finish packing; I always keep finding more stuff. (There are variations where I just need to get out of the house and go to work but I'm unable to finish packing my work bag, I keep having to put more things into it.)

Literally, today will be about having a limited abount of time in which to pack up and get out -- we have to be completely gone by 5pm -- and we keep finding more stuff. And I'm not going to say this is as bad as the time I randomly and without warning or apparent cause had a panic attack in a Macy's, but it's inching up there. Every time I think about the packing I start breathing hard.

Ultimately it will be okay. There's two of us and there's not realistically a day's worth of packing to be done. The paintings and the few truly valuable other pieces -- things that have sentimental or high monetary value -- have been packed, so if we had to leave something behind at this point, we could. And I don't even think we will.

But I wish someone would tell my autonomic nervous system that.

Comments

[ysabet.livejournal.com]

spiderine is right; the subconscious draws in those great big thick crayons they give really little kids. And, like a little kid, sometimes its language isn't clear-- it's just really, really LOUD and it won't shut up until it gets what it wants or you soothe it to sleep with comforting things.