(no subject)

My portfolio is beautiful, my life plans are acceptable, my thesis is intriguing, my papers are graded.

My exam notes are next to me, my stash of baby carrots is gone, my eye is swelling shut.

*collapses*

Hey you know what? Tomorrow? The full moon. I am going to pull a Lupin and disappear mysteriously.

Won't my students be surprised when Severus Snape shows up to hand back their papers.

"Liam! Your essay was...adequate. Ms. Guiterman, are you aware the protagonist dies at the end? Leaving at intermission again, I see. Mr. Hendrickson, a fractured penis* is no excuse for your blatant misuse of apostrophes..."

One of these days I'm really going to sit down and write that How Hogwarts Professors Mark Student Papers fic. (Not to mention finish the fic based on Remus J. Lupin's Seventh Year Essay on Quidditch and Human Sexuality.)

* Yes, he really exists. Yes, it really happens. Yes, he really told me about it. No, I really don't know how I kept a straight face either. Yes, I really am a bad person.

Commentary post-hack: I have not written either of those fics to date.