(no subject)

Dear Hiring Website Designers, HR Managers, Company CEOs & etc,

Hi. Before we start, let's get this out of the way: I'd like to work for you. No, really. I picked you out of all the places to work, searched for you specifically, and bookmarked your hiring webpage because I want a job with YOU. I think what you do is cool/ethically sound/entertaining and I want to be a part of it. I'm hungry to work for you and if you give me a job I will work ridiculously hard for a ridiculously small salary.

There are ways you can expedite this process! Look, I'm giving you an opportunity to give back to the community, gratis. Consider it a work sample. Here's the plan:

Design a job website where I don't have to click eight million links to find what I want. Design a job website where the date posted is brilliantly visible, and maybe even one where I could sort by date so that, in order to find the new jobs I will fit well in, I can easily scroll past the old jobs I've already seen. Design a job website where I can "view all" so that I'll never miss that perfect job. Yes, your website is very pretty and I love hearing the Dreamworks theme song every time I have to visit your careers site but it's not helping you! And I want to help you! Preferably for money!

This is painless. Trust me. Look at Pixar's jobsearch site, they've managed it brilliantly. Way to go, Pixar! I'd love to work for you too, by the way. Sorry this isn't helping you, but I promise I can be more brilliant than this letter implies, if you hire me. For you, an endless well of brilliance.

Here's a second tip: if you reject me for a job, how 'bout a letter? It can be a form letter, I don't mind. You don't think the letter of interest I sent to you was carefully handcrafted over hours of grammatical agony, do you? All you need to do is add one sentence about why I wasn't appropriate for the job. Yeah, it may take a little time, but if everyone did this then soon enough people would stop applying for jobs for which they are inappropriate -- because, see, they'd know why they're getting turned down and can adjust their search accordingly -- and you'd have a lot fewer applications to handle! The Smithsonian does it, so why shouldn't you? They've got the power of all that air and space behind them.

Doesn't it feel good to help people? Yeah, I know. All warm and fuzzy inside, like you just ate a muppet.

Did I mention I type eighty words per minute and I'm willing to pay my own relocation fees?

Sincerely,

Sam Starbuck

(no subject)

It's that time again...time for Sam's Three Things about CSI!

1. OMG, WARRICK IS MARRIED? Jesus, okay, we get it, stop rubbing it in already.

2. What was that snide little moment between Catherine and Greg? I'm as confused about that "doing your job" remark as he is. Also, while I'm all about the verbal smackdown, dude, Catherine, in context your rant about abortion was completely inappropriate (and bizarrely well-researched...)

3. "You impugned my character." "What character?" ROCK ON GRISSOM. I thought it was an interesting departure from the usual to have Grissom examining the false evidence used in a case, instead of actually examining the evidence in the case in an objective light. It's meta in a number of ways that I can't even enumerate tonight because a, I'm tired and b, I'm off to catch up on Rome.

3a. Show of hands -- who wants to see an episode that somehow involves Intelligent Design? (having touched on every other religious-scientific hot-button issue....)