(no subject)

What the hell. I am falling afuckingpart.

This morning the doctor's office called while I was at the post office and said they got my final x-ray analysis back on my wrist and they think I need to see an orthopedic specialist ASAP.

The new Marketing intern offered me a stick of gum this afternoon and as I was chewing I noticed that the gum seemed to be sticking to one of my back teeth. I discreetly reached in and peeled the gum off the tooth and with it came a huge chunk of tooth. Or possibly filling; with my brittle, oft-filled back teeth it's hard to tell.

My bones are snapping like twigs and my teeth are falling out. You'd think I was some kind of malnourished child in a third-world country instead of someone who eats grilled cheese sandwiches with frightening regularity and probably more beef than is good for him. At least I'm not going bald, for Christ's sake.

Despite all this, I am remarkably cheerful and optimistic. I'm going to a job with benefits, which I believe includes dental, and I have ROBOT ARM to comfort me.

ROBOT ARM!

*vrrrt vrrrt vrrrt*

(no subject)

R must be the most bored man in the universe right now. He hasn't gone a day without calling me. Today he called me twice; the first time he got my voicemail so he played thirty second of harmonica into it, and the second time he got hold of me and told me that he'd ordered another copy of the video game I'm sending him, because he was so impatient for it to arrive. Apparently, Empire Earth is the closest thing to an orgasm it's possible to get from a computer (at least, without special attachments).

Mum went to the doctor today because she doesn't like the "band-aid" feel of Xanax and the addictive properties made her nervous, so he put her on Lexapro. Yes, I gave her chapter and verse on the side effects, don't fret. It's probably just as well she's getting something long-term; she's coping with Bernard leaving by telling herself he's eventually going to come home, but she's also grieving at the same time, which is a lot of emotion for one person. I couldn't care less if he drops dead and rots in the bush, but then I've read his journal.

And yes, I am going to the orthopedic specialist, as soon as I can make an appointment. Dad, who used to work in the biz, says that they probably want to make sure the break's not going to run up the length of my bone. If they think it might, they'll put a pin in it. Trying to look on the bright side, maybe I'll get better phone reception afterwards.

In the meantime, I've made beef stroganoff. It seemed the thing to do.

CANNOT:
Use a hand-operated can opener.

CAN:
Flash my splint and get a seat on the bus.

Well, it is legitimately hard to carry a laptop bag and hold onto the stand-bar at the same time.