(no subject)

The kiwi fruit is Chinese in origin and not native to Australia. Somehow I feel I have been lied to. Also it totally killed a great joke in Jack&Ellis, THANKS CHINA.

For all your wacky biodiversity, I can't find one fruit originating in Australia except for Quandong, and apparently that's the name of every fruit originating in Australia. Seriously, guys, blue quandong is ripe for only a few hours before becoming crumbly and tasteless, and your rodents have beaks and your birds have hair. What the hell is wrong with your continent?

Actually I have nothing but love. It's just, you know, what the hell, you have a rainforest, where is all your fruit?

(no subject)

And then she bought an airplane ticket!

*gestures* My mother, kids!

In the last half hour she's sent me four emails, not including the "This is my flight number" email. They consist of:

1. BLUESFEST SAM BLUESFEST BLUESFEST
2. FIREWORKS there's a FIREWORKS CRUISE IS IT ANY GOOD
3. CIRQUE IS IN TOWN
3a. OH WAIT NO IT ISN'T

R and I will have to sanitise the flat. We might have to burn his Playboys, he keeps putting them away or plotting to throw them out and for all I know he might actually have thrown them out but they keep showing up. They're like quantum pornography.

(no subject)

I was trying to clean out my email a little bit tonight and you know what? I suck at answering emails. It even says so in my profile, but it never really hits me until I read through all the stuff that I totally meant to go back and reply to and just never did.

So uh. If you have emailed me and haven't had a reply, it's not that I don't like you or have a low opinion of anything you said, it's just that I'm an inefficient asshole. Also, when I'm not in a world that I am master and god of, it's way harder to write stuff.

I mean, that's not much in the way of apology, but it's all I've got really. :D

And now R and I are going to play X-Treme Wheel of Fortune, the drinking game. LAST ONE CONSCIOUS WINS!

(Rules:

1. Drink when Pat Sajak says anything racist, gropes a female contestant, or feigns sympathy.
2. Drink twice if he makes a mistake.
3. Drink twice if someone calls a letter that's already been called.
4. Drink three times whenever someone gaffes a puzzle.
5. Drink pretty much whenever you want.)