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Tadaa! As I managed to get up early enough today, I thought I'd post this in the morning and put you guys out of your misery (and pull you off those tenterhooks).

The Theory of Two Centres, Chapter Seven
Summary: "If you're good," he whispered in his ear, "I'll let you do that thing in the car you've been wanting to try."

Chapter Seven will link to Chapter Eight, which is also posted. Enjoy :) Can't wait to hear what you guys think of the ending...

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So, Bulletproof Temp stopped at my desk this morning, and naturally the conversation came around to Hallowe'en.

Sam: No, I like Hallowe'en, but I'm not gonna have any trick-or-treaters this year and I'm bummed.
Bulletproof Temp: Why not?
Sam: Well, we have a gate around my building, right, so they can't even get in.
Bulletproof Temp: Oh, a gate. I thought you said a gay.
Sam: Yes. My building is protected by The Gay.

Also, Bulletproof Temp got hired on! He is henceforth to be known as Bulletproof Coworker. Though he only works part-time now, instead of full-time temping, so I see less of him.

BossBoss loaned me a light-up bat pin to wear on my lapel. I told him I would have worn my vampire fangs but it's hard to answer the phone with them in.

(no subject)

LOL. Listening to someone lose it at me while on their speakerphone is hilarious.

Sorry I can't help you, dude, and I'm sorry you have anger management issues, but seriously you standing in your office shouting at your phone must be the funniest thing ever. Your admins are laaaughing at you.

(no subject)

So I once made a post about being in favour of rock-climbing while gay but against rock-climbing in corsets, in which I pointed out that now I would probably be top of the googlesearch hit-parade if someone were to search "rock-climbing in corsets".

But as it turns out, at least until I post this, the top of the googlesearch results is a group of longtime Cafe readers who have listed it in their interests.

*dies laughing*

The internet is SO WEIRD, you guys.

(no subject)

Calling one and all tonight
It's happening at the hall tonight
So drop in at the ball tonight
Disney'scopperbadge's Halloween Treat...

I've had that song in my head all goddamn day.

I do have a bit of a treat for you, to make up for my earlier trick. In excavating the journal post-hack I found several small bits and bobs of fanfic that never got properly archived at Storyteller. Plus I finished a post-Countrycide fic for Torchwood; as someone once observed to me, everyone writes one sooner or later...

So, here you are: Three old fanfics, one old filk, and a new take on an old Torchwood trope.

Title: Wolves at the Door
Fandom: Lord Peter/Harry Potter crossover of sorts.
Summary: When Auror Investigator Potter's hands are legally tied in the case of an Oxford professor accused of murder, the elegant and inquisitive Draco Malfoy is asked to venture into the wilds of academia and determine whether Professor Lupin really is capable of murder during the full moon.

Title: What's Good For Vorenus and I'm Having a Vision
Fandom: Rome; The Dead Zone (both in one post)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Titus Pullo wants what's good for his Centurion. (Pullo/Vorenus); Bruce knew he was in trouble when Sara mistook his date for Johnny. (Bruce->Johnny)

Title: 88 Lines About 44 Fandoms
Summary: A filk of 88 Lines About 44 Women by The Nails.

Title: Compromise
Fandom: Torchwood
Summary: After the Beacons, Ianto's inner censor is offline and Jack refuses to go home. German expressionism ensues.

(no subject)

Except for the really harsh hand-coding, I have finished uploading through August of 2007. The vast majority of the uploading from now on will be automated from the GJ/IJ mirrors.

Jesus christ, I need a drink.

As it turns out, uploading the more recent history is way more traumatic than the old stuff, even being miserable in Texas in 2006, because my memories of it are so much clearer and you guys? How did I not realise how incredibly miserable I was at the box office last year? I mean I know I didn't have a gold standard to compare it to, but seriously. Many terrible things have happened in 2008 but at least I don't work for a fucking nutbar anymore. As much as I liked my coworkers...fucking nutbar.

Dear BossBoss: I love my job and I am grateful you think I am competent and I will burn you a Torchwood DVD set and I want you never to fire me. Yrs, Sam.