(no subject)

Gay parents have children, children need books. Film at eleven!

In short, Selkie wishes to provide LGBT and LGBT-friendly parents with books for their young sprogs. She would like your opinion on what kind of book because, as she says, on the internet everyone has an opinion. Go ye and comment.

Unrelatedly, I am much happier this morning, because my hot water has been returned to me. This is some conosolation for the fact that I have EPIC LAUNDRY to do this weekend and many errands to run.

I've been cleaning one room of my flat per evening after Hurricane My Mother hit it (we bought a lot of stuff and kind of left it where we dropped it) and now the only room left to clean is the bathroom, where really all I have to do is sweep up the boric acid, lay new boric acid down, and hang a shower curtain over my Very Drafty Bathroom Window.

Note to self: Buy groceries. Man cannot live by ground beef alone.

(no subject)

Part of a molar fell out of my mouth a few months ago.

I have brittle molars, because as a child I had a fever so high that it destroyed the calcium matrices in my adult molars. I have one steel crown and a few very, very elderly fillings from when I was thirteen or so, and those are starting to dissolve. So now I'm shopping for a dentist to fix the problem, because my parents have a dentist in Austin but the last time I got a filling there it crumbled within four months. To be fair to them, they've since sacked the dentist who did that filling.

My favourite Chicago dentist so far -- not for me, just in general -- is the dental office in the heart of the gold coast that offers concierge services. IE, if you are coming to their office from out of town they will arrange your travel and hotel for you.

I just.

Why. Why? Surely if you have enough money to fly to Chicago expressly for the purpose of dental work, you can find somewhere closer to you that will provide the same level of service.

Or perhaps I'm just cranky because dentists are uninformative. They never tell you on the website what you want to know. I have very few requirements, but they are ironclad non-negotiable: must be accessible from work (loop/gold coast area), must be willing to bill my insurance themselves (MetLife doesn't do reimbursement), and must be willing to use nitrous oxide.

This makes me sound like a nitrous fiend, but I don't fucking care -- I've had non-nitrous oral surgery a grand total of once in my life and as long as I have dental insurance I will never, ever do that again. Especially as last time it took them four tries to get the local into my jaw. Fuck that noise with a sledgehammer. And there's now some kind of pill sedation, apparently, but it requires you to have someone to drive you to and from the appointment. I love R and all, but he's not the most reliable of people to depend on in a dental-surgery situation.

MONEY AND DRUGS. How Chicago of me.

(no subject)

Oh my god. PeaPod sells Turducken.

*BUYZ*

Edit: They also sell butter sculpted in the shape of a Thanksgiving turkey.

*DOEZ NOT BUY*

(no subject)

So, I have this tree. This tiny tree. That I would send you photos of, but I think my camera is broken (another whole post that I'll get to later). And for this tiny sad Christmas tree I have six whole ornaments. Which obviously is not enough.

Back in undergrad we had a Christmas tree for the department and in my junior year we were forced to get rid of several of the better ornaments, including the garland of condoms and lube that I had made sophomore year, because we had a huge shipment of prospective freshmen coming in late that year and we didn't want to terrify their parents. So we had to come up with new ornaments, and I decided to take a bunch of photos I'd snapped of the students and faculty, on and offstage, paste colour printouts onto green and red construction paper, and hang them as ornaments. Because I'm just that awesome.

I've kind of done the photo meme thing, so I thought instead I would make a literary tree. My tree is too small to hold a word if everyone donated one, but please feel free to suggest a word (note: A SINGLE WORD. Don't post me a word list!) that I should hang on the tree. I will choose the ones I like most, print them out, and hang them up. Foreign languages welcome.

And....GO!

(no subject)

Bulletproof Coworker showed up at my desk just before I left for lunch with a Crate & Barrel box for me, which was interesting because I hadn't ordered anything from Crate & Barrel. Turns out it was a reused box that was full of stuff from my Mum.

You know what's coming next.

She sent me:
2 shirts (too small), a pair of trousers, and a pair of pyjamas with cats on (U CAN HAS NAPTIEM NAO)
1 garland and approximately 1,000 christmas ornaments for my tree (I will still use some words!)
1 bag each: Mini Snickers Bars, Mini Kit Kat Bars, Mini Peppermint Patties (for the office)
1 quart bag of "brown sugar shortbread mix" (?)
1 box of quart bags (??)
1 package of paper bowls (??!)

AND A GODDAMN TOTE BAG.

Seriously, I have a tote bag full of tote bags. I'm thinking of just passing out tote bags on the street. Except that would make me look insane, because who owns that many tote bags?

ME.