(no subject)

LOL MY MORNING LET ME TELL YOU IT.

First, I arrived at our building to find that the elevator bank that goes to our floors was Out. What was amusing was that there was this crowd of people huddled around the elevators, which are down a small hall from the security desk, and they all said to me "Oh, the elevators aren't working". So I thought, well, there's no point in standing about, I'll go say hi to my buddy at the security desk and make sure he knows about this.

Nobody knew they were broken. None of the people patiently waiting for the elevators to be fixed thought to TELL ANYONE. I guess they thought the Justice League might see it on their computers and send Batman down with a torque wrench?

My buddy in security called the elevator guys, who were working on one of the elevators on the third floor, and the guys came down to fix what they had incidentally broken in the first place. Unfortunately, after ten minutes it was not fixed. So I gathered the various admins and staff who belong to me and quietly took them down to the basement, where I talked the dock guy into taking us directly to the 19th floor in the terrifying but pleasantly large freight elevator.

Because I am a goddamn Office Ninja.

Anyway, my reward for being a genius is that Coworker Fail has pinkeye and is out today.

\o/

(no subject)

Okay guys, here is what I have to share with you this morning:

If you are not watching White Collar, you are missing some of the best television on television.

White Collar is fantastic. It's the first show in a while I'm not semi-ashamed I'm watching. And I am here to explain to you (mild spoilers behind the cut!)( why. )

In addition to awesome women, solid arcs, and fantastic interpersonal dynamics, this show has: gorgeous clothing, classic cars, treasure hunts, a reasonable amount of gratuitous shirtlessness, funny banter, and clever heists.

So what are you waiting for? White Collar airs on Tuesdays at 10pm, but USA seems to be running older episodes on the weekends. Dive in -- it's fun!

(no subject)

Oh man it so pays to do research.

My brother has been sticking Mum with his student loan payments for two years because he's unemployed (because he's an illegal immigrant in Australia and an asshole nobody wants to hire) and she's paying them because Mama Tickey, my stepfather's mother, is a co-signer. Mama Tickey is too goddamn old to be dealing with that bullshit, right? I agree with this. But it means my mother is paying his loans, and that is even more bullshit.

BUT.

I know how to consolidate loans with the federal government. At this point I'm almost an expert. And I'm pretty sure the rollover would remove Mama Tickey as co-signer, given the specific circumstances. I mean, after all, he wants us to deal with these loans, right? He can't possibly do the paperwork himself.

Bernard, I am happy to do the paperwork. I am happy to paperwork you right into being responsible for your own student loans. And I hope your wife enjoys being married to someone who is suddenly thousands of dollars in debt with the federal government of the United States.

I am never going to enjoy doing paperwork this much ever again.