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Mar. 11th, 2010 08:27 amSerious Eats had a discussion thread going yesterday (which I admittedly did not read) about whether or not We Like Self Checkout at grocery stores. Here's the thing: I like self-checkout as long as I am checking out either alone or with someone who actually understands the fundamental concept of this machine.
R does not. Oh my god, you guys, doing self-checkout with him is like doing self-checkout with a five year old. On crack. It is so traumatic that reading the discussion thread title triggered a spasm in my brain.
Here's the thing: the way the grocery store makes sure you aren't stealing anything when you do self-checkout is by weighing your groceries when you put them down before scanning their barcodes, and then weighing them in the bags after scanning. This means:
1. YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR GROCERIES ON THE LITTLE WEIGHING PLATFORM. R refuses, because he wants to cuddle his bonus-value-sale chicken wings for as long as possible.
2. YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR GROCERIES IN A BAG WHEN YOU ARE DONE. Yes, even if you only have one item! Because it weighs the groceries in the bag! R, put the goddamn gallon of milk in the goddamn bag. You can take it out again when you're done if you are that much against carrying things in bags.
3. YOU CANNOT PICK UP ANYTHING UNTIL YOU ARE DONE PAYING. Stop trying to fondle the chicken wings! Stop digging around for the Kit Kat bars!
And the worst part is, he's a football player so his sense of personal space is warped, and I'm trying to body-check him away from the food while I pay for it but he's having none of that, so you end up with two grown men in a totally unacknowledged shoving match at the checkout stand and the machine insisting we've both stolen the chicken wings.
I don't even like chicken wings!
R does not. Oh my god, you guys, doing self-checkout with him is like doing self-checkout with a five year old. On crack. It is so traumatic that reading the discussion thread title triggered a spasm in my brain.
Here's the thing: the way the grocery store makes sure you aren't stealing anything when you do self-checkout is by weighing your groceries when you put them down before scanning their barcodes, and then weighing them in the bags after scanning. This means:
1. YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR GROCERIES ON THE LITTLE WEIGHING PLATFORM. R refuses, because he wants to cuddle his bonus-value-sale chicken wings for as long as possible.
2. YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR GROCERIES IN A BAG WHEN YOU ARE DONE. Yes, even if you only have one item! Because it weighs the groceries in the bag! R, put the goddamn gallon of milk in the goddamn bag. You can take it out again when you're done if you are that much against carrying things in bags.
3. YOU CANNOT PICK UP ANYTHING UNTIL YOU ARE DONE PAYING. Stop trying to fondle the chicken wings! Stop digging around for the Kit Kat bars!
And the worst part is, he's a football player so his sense of personal space is warped, and I'm trying to body-check him away from the food while I pay for it but he's having none of that, so you end up with two grown men in a totally unacknowledged shoving match at the checkout stand and the machine insisting we've both stolen the chicken wings.
I don't even like chicken wings!
