(no subject)

This is utterly ridiculous.

The last three nights I've been trying to get to bed early because I desperately need sleep. So I've gone to bed around 10:30 every night.

Tuesday night: woke up at 3am from a screaming nightmare. Wednesday night: woke up at 2am from a screaming nightmare. And here it is, Thursday night, I'm awake at ten to one in the morning after a screaming nightmare.

It's not like they've all been deep psychological dreams either. Tuesday night it was a serial killer with some kind of magic gun, I don't even know. Admittedly last night it was about my brother, which, don't even get me started. Tonight's was a bizarre mashup of horror films involving an apocalyptic pandemic, which I survived, only to become trapped in a high-rise gothic building of some kind with a bunch of other survivors and a shit ton of terrifying ghosts. (Also a very cool swimming pool.)

Now, I know a common cause of nightmares is "being too warm while asleep" so each night I've been taking one of the HEAP of blankets off the bed. But I'm down to one blanket and I can't go back to bed without at least one blanket to hide under because there are ghosts, okay?

Incidentally, haven't we as a species sort of fucked ourselves with the concept of ghosts? An essentially all-powerful, usually angry, oft-vengeful being that can go anywhere? Could our distant barely-out-of-the-trees ancestors have invented something more terrifying if they were trying?

Okay, I'm going back to bed. God damned ghosts.

(no subject)

Today is April Fool's Day, and while I have given up pranking -- frankly it's too much energy -- it will always be immortalised, for me, as the day I first encountered the Fractured Penis (not mine). I would be remiss if I did not, once more, share this story with all of you.

My hand to god, every word of this story is true.

You will have questions. I promise most of them will be answered if you read to the end, including the all important "How do you fracture an appendage which has no bone?" Just...keep reading.

(no subject)

FRIDAAAAAY PHOTO POOOOOOST

Icons first! Some images are taken from S3 filming for White Collar. I don't consider them spoilery, but those who are especially avoidant may wish not to click. Icons are free for use; credit is nice but not required.

Teasers!


( Neal Caffrey, Salvador Dali, a Pug, and a Dorgi. )

You know, as much as I have moaned and complained about this week, it started out pretty good. I got on the train on Monday morning, curled up next to the in-wall heater with my book, and looked up and remembered that this is the view I see every morning.

I also do the Skeleton Crossword, but only on Mondays, because crosswords get harder throughout the week and, well, you can see how I wrestle with even the Monday edition.

This picture did not at all come out. It's supposed to be of a wooden doodah in the window of the Hard Rock Hotel downtown. But I kind of like the way the model blends into the skyscrapers nearby.

Last weekend I tried to make thumbprint cookies. Somehow they lost their cohesion and ended up thumbprint pancakes. (Still tasted good though.)

I also made summer pudding. This smells even more awesome than it looks.

This podium used to have a sign on it. It was painted over this week; I guess the Cubs don't love us anymore. The affair was brief but torrid.

Someone should start a GoodAdviceGraffiti tumblr. (In the meantime, have an icon.)

This week, my company ordered 2500 packs of company-branded gum for promotional purposes. You want to know what 2500 packs of company-branded gum packaged for shipping looks like? Wonder no more.

So, these images contain what could be considered a spoiler, given that they're based off a picture taken during White Collar S3 filming. It just looked so much like a romance novel, you guys, I couldn't resist. (I definitely couldn't resist mockery.)

(no subject)

Sam: So, when I get assigned a ticket in the helpdesk database, is there any way to set it up so that the database program emails me to let me know I've been assigned a ticket?
BossBoss: Wow. Well. If you want to get existential about it --
Sam: Yay!
BossBoss: You should email the helpdesk database and ask if the database admin will set that up for you.
Sam: So I'm emailing the helpdesk to ask if, when someone emails the helpdesk, it will email me?
BossBoss: Yes.
Sam: It's beautiful. It's like a divide by zero error.
BossBoss: Don't ever say I didn't bring joy into your life.