May. 31st, 2011

I'm off home today on the 3pm train, probably to die of heatstroke when I hit Chicago, where apparently those predictions about it turning into Alabama are coming true a bit early. Mum texted me that six people were hospitalised over the weekend from various heat-related ills. I'm very glad my air conditioner is already installed.

Anyhow, while I'm gone, I thought the Cafe might like to share in this weekend's sing-along antics. One of the songs we sang was Pete Seeger's parody of Old Time Religion (you can check out the lyrics here and a performance of the "straight" version here) and of course, as happens, it became a contest to make up our own verses. Some of mine included:

John Barleycorn we'll drink to,
And bawdy songs we'll sing too,
And burn some wooden things to,
That's good enough for me

We can pray like Scientologists,
Who are some strange mythologists,
And alien apologists,
That's good enough for me

We could worship like the Romans,
Deii non principalum,
per de Graeci ascirem,
abi in malam rem.

(roughly translated: We could worship like the Romans,
Their gods were not their own,
But from the Greeks were stolen,
And you can go to hell)

I know at least a few of you sinners and blasphemers out there have a verse or two in you. Share with the cafe!

(And if not, to clear your palate, have one of the songs I led this weekend: Leave Her, Johnny, Leave Her.)
I have written a new song. IT GOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS:

LAAAAAAATE train only just now leavin'
LAAAAAAATE train only just now leavin'
LAAAAAAATE train only just now leavin'
ONLY JUST NOW LEAVIN' TOWN.

I call it "My Train Was Ninety Minutes Late Boarding".
Is this dude driving me home seriously trying to teach me how to navigate my own damn city at half eleven at night? I know how to get home! I just want you to drive me there! Stop talking to me!

This might require another song.

ETA: And I'm home safe despite the cabdriver stalking me up the block and then yelling at me that I gave him the wrong building number. Yeah, asshole, I know. I did it because you're creepy.

Oh god it is time for all the sleeping.

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