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I DECLARE THIS APARTMENT CLEAN! Nobody move!

Well, it's mostly clean, anyway. Someday I will learn the gentle art of dusting, but that day is not today.

It's actually quite nice out today but I'm still traumatised from Friday afternoon, so I stayed in. 51stcenturyfox linked me to the Crime Library the other day and I've spent most of the day sprawled under the air conditioner reading about serial killers. Humanity is messed up, you guys.

Which leads me to where I am now, eating dinner and watching trashy "documentaries" on History.com. Cafe consensus: do we think ancient alien visitors to our planet knew about paranormal hotspots like the Bermuda Triangle? Because the History Channel seems to think they might have.

I bet the guys who narrate these documentaries spend their lunch breaks reading ahead and giggling.

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This evening I joined Google Plus, the new Google social media site that is totally not a Facebook clone, really guys, we're serious, it's nothing like Facebook, just like Buzz was nothing like Twitter like Facebook.

Then I had a large vodka tonic.

And if you think there's not a causality at work there, you are very wrong.

How is it possible that I have three thousand readers when I am so terribly bad at the internet? I despise Twitter, I fear Facebook, and every time Google releases some new cloud product I spend two days breaking it and then abandon it.

My life is a mystery to me, and I'm living it.