(no subject)

Okay, guys, I hate to crush your dreams, but I have to explain to you that the Rubber Ducky Derby is not nearly as exciting as you think it is.

It starts out with a bunch of "duck monitors" (this is pretty funny) out on boats on the Chicago river. They're there to make sure no ducks go astray.

Chicago has multiple lift-bridges, like the kind you see on action films, where the bridge separates in the middle and each half tilts upwards. A dump truck full of rubber ducks backs its way up to the middle seam of the Columbus Drive bridge, and the other half of the bridge lifts away, so the truck is essentially at the edge of a precipice over the river.

On a signal, the truck raises its cargo, and the ducks cascade gently into the river. Incidentally, you can watch last year's duck dump here.

The problem is that the Chicago river does not have a terribly powerful current. Duck derbies really work best on small, shallow rivers with strong currents -- then the ducks bolt along happily and everyone has a good time. With the number of ducks in the water, and the slow pace of the Chicago river's current, the ducks don't really go anywhere.

So this is where the fire department comes in.

The fire department has a fire boat out on the river, behind the ducks, and once the ducks are in the water, it starts up its water-based railgun water hose and begins driving the ducks onwards, following along behind them. Which is funny at first and then sad and then kind of boring. The dump is really the most exciting part.

Unfortunately, for some reason, they don't announce whose duck won the duck derby until five days after the race. I guess to make sure the ducks aren't doping or something. But rest assured if I win, I will totally let you guys know.

Next year I should do a fundraiser or something. I'm sure we could get a Cafe Ducky Derby team going.

(no subject)

So I saw this article linked...somewhere this morning, I think on Kempt, about how to be a faster writer.

Which, actually, does anyone reading this think I need that article? Someday I'll find an article about how to be a better writer that won't be utterly useless, but until such time, speed is my advantage. Speed, and the element of surprise. And a comfy chair...

Anyway, I read it because no knowledge is wasted and because I'm a little compulsive. It turned out to be a pretty good article, in fact, more about how we write than how to write faster.

Ann Chenoweth and John Hayes (2001) found that sentences are generated in a burst-pause-evaluate, burst-pause-evaluate pattern, with more experienced writers producing longer word bursts.

I never really have thought about the cognitive structure of my process. I'm a little afraid that if I do, I'll end up like the golf pro who was asked by a fan "Do you inhale or exhale when you swing the club?" and was messed up for the rest of the day.

This passage also struck me:

In that state, the writer's brain is juggling three things: the actual text, what you plan to say next, and—most crucially—theories of how your imagined readership will interpret what's being written. A highly skilled writer can simultaneously be a writer, editor, and audience.

Mainly because it agrees with my theory that a writer who doesn't understand readers is not reaching their full potential.

But the thing that really caught my attention was the mention of experimental programs that will analyze what you are writing and attempt to retrieve relevant definitions, facts, and documents from the Web in case you need them.

HOLY SHIT WHERE DO I SIGN UP?

(no subject)

IT'S PAYDAY.

[Poll #1769209]

If you're new to the cafe, there is no explanation for the wildebeest option. (Literally. I don't remember how it happened and the origins got lost in the hack.) Just accept the wildebeest into your life, and know peace.

(no subject)

I thought the guy rollerblading up Wabash with a full grocery bag in each hand was the strangest thing I'd see today...and then I encountered The Reel.

(no subject)

I folded a spinning top yesterday morning -- linked to me by flamebyrd -- to calm my RIDICULOUS nerves over the interview. Which only semi-worked because it's immensely frustrating to try blitz-folding a single piece of paper THAT MANY TIMES. And then to have to do it three times.

It came out rather nicely, though. All the bits fit together in a really clever way. And it looks pretty awesome when you spin it!

This week, the origami calendar having failed me completely, I went ranging the internet and ended up today in Thailand, I believe Vietnam, apparently, where I folded another rabbit. There's something perpetually endearing about origami rabbits. They're always charming.

I don't know that I managed to do every fold for this one, but considering the creator wet-folded it with real origami paper and I was doing it with thick calendar paper, I think I achieved the overall gist, the essence if you will, of "rabbit".