(no subject)

So, I'm unclear on the details because the middle ages aren't my area of expertise, but I know that at one point, sometime during them, there was a drastic climate change in western Europe. The whole place got colder and wetter, crops failed, things were doom-y for like thirty years. And I remember reading about how because of all this, the inhabitants of what is now Great Britain and France, in particular, thought the apocalypse had come and they were living in the end times.

I was always a little perplexed by this, because while I know that it was a simpler time and the whole "weather patterns" thing was not yet established, the end times seemed an extreme leap to make. I allow that perhaps it's just hard for me to put myself in the shoes of someone who lived before we figured out germs, atoms, evolution, and lake effect snow.

But now I get it, because this winter is freaking me the fuck out.

It has snowed three times, and two of those were flurries that didn't stick. And it doesn't look like we're going to get a whole lot, because while usually February-March are the bitterest winter months, it's because the snow has been on the ground since November. Apparently we're just going to get five months of autumn. And not the fun autumn either, where all the leaves are nice and the air is crisp, but the rotting end-of-autumn when everything's brown and awful. Chicago has been brown and awful for three months.

(As an aside, I know that a lot of people hate driving in the snow or going out in it and your reasons are totally legitimate, I get it. But I moved to Chicago for the winters, because I fucking hate heat and all it stands for, and I lived in a desert and then in Texas for going on five years collectively, and I am done forever with the colour brown.)

I am freaked out. What if the snow never comes back? And I'm only mildly reassured by the fact that this is the warmest winter in eighty years, because that means eighty years ago it was also this warm, so it might just be an aberration. I take comfort from the fact that since my building is pre-depression construction, it's entirely possible that some guy living on the third floor eighty years ago was going around asking, "Does anyone else think this is weird? This winter is weird, right?"

Okay he probably said something less millennial, like "unsettlingly passing strange, don't you think?" but nevermind.

I find myself wishing for summer because when summer comes I might hate the weather, but at least in addition to hating the weather there will be baseball.

(no subject)

I went over to R's today to have a festival of pancake, and also to meet his new girlfriend, who is totally crazy but not in a way, as in the past, where I've had to tell him she's crazy.

I mean, A, it's very obvious, just ask her about the Da Vinci Code and watch her go (make popcorn!) and B, it's not something likely to affect their actual relationship, unlike past girlfriends. I refer those of you who've been reading for a while to the Night Of The Rice Krispy Treats and also to the You Owe Me $200 For Chipotle incident. Or the woman where I had to tell him I would respect him significantly less if he slept with her because she had the maturity level of a 13-year-old and sleeping with 13-year-olds is wrong. (The rest of you who don't recall these events can read the Conversations With R tag, it's all in there somewhere and it's pretty entertaining reading.)

New girlfriend seems cool though, aside from the "I think aliens built the pyramds" thing.

I also picked up my brownie pan, which I left there on New Year's, and then had to dig around for the lid to it. It's a cake-carrier type thing with a lid that snaps over and handles so you can haul it around easily, and apparently the lid blew R's mind. He didn't know where it had come from or what it did and he was so relieved when I grabbed it and said "Oh, here's the lid."

R and I have a running injoke about butts that it would take way too long to explain, but we ended up making New Girlfriend snortlaugh:

Sam: Do you remember how this joke even started?
R: I think it had something to do with my immaturity.
Sam: Well, most of the best things that happen to you arise from this.
R: You make it sound like a positive thing when you say it like that.
Sam: You do lead a far more interesting life than I do.

And then we made a date to go to Sun Wah restaurant on the north side, where I explained they will cook you an entire duck, carve it for you at the table, and then take the carcass away while you eat and come back with duck fried rice and duck soup made from the carcass. I described this to him and he got that "Mind is blown!" look.

Which is good because the meal is $30 and an entire duck, and I can't tackle either of those on my own. That's why I have R.

(no subject)

I just saw an ad on TV for a time-traveling baby. Can I call it or what?

Also, GI Joe The Movie, you make an interesting assumption that there is no way to go wrong when you open a trailer with "In the immortal words of Jay-Z."