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FREEDOM. OH SWEET, SWEET WEEKEND.

...in which I suddenly have a million things to do.

It's okay though! It's all low-impact stuff like cooking and editing manuscripts. Speaking of which, The Dead Isle: Chapter Two has been posted. I'm quite pleased with the response so far -- this is literally the first time I haven't been told (correctly) that I needed to rip up the first chapter and give the thing a whole new beginning.

And now, time to cook some meals and write more Roman Porn. I'm beginning to think even if I don't make it in time for the submissions deadline, it'd make a fun erotic novel on its own.

The diversity of my publishing knows no bounds. You want nonfiction? Thrillers? Comedies? Fantasy? Porn? COME ON DOWN TO SAM'S....

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COOKING.

I have made YoMama Bars and Crockpot Spaghetti. I have also cleaned my stove! Oh dear did it need it.

Here is a thing that I did and then forgot I did but now I can share. While preparing to write Exquisite S3 (which is on hold for a little while until I hit my other deadlines) I thought I'd re-read all of what I'd written so far. And I thought, as long as I'm doing that, why not ebook it? So I turned Exquisite S1 and S2 into one huge PDF, and also one huge .epub (thanks Lulu!) and one huge .mobi.

I don't own an e-reader, so I haven't thoroughly tested the .epub or .mobi yet. Anya, who graciously allowed me to include her short inspired-by-Exquisite story "Profile" in the book, helped me test the epub, but the mobi is both untested and made-by-Calibre, which effs up epubs something fierce. I have no idea if either of these are actually readable. So, if you download the epub or mobi, let me know how they work, as well as what kind of reader you are reading them on. If they don't work, I'll be reuploading functional files (hopefully) and you can check back here to find them.

Here are the download links. As the afterword to the file says, please feel free to share these files or send them around to friends or whatnot. My name and URL are on them, so they can go anywhere.

Download links:
Exquisite, the PDF
Exquisite, the EPUB
Exquisite, the MOBI

And of course the original fanfic is here if you prefer to read online. :D

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Because I've been sick this week, battling deadlines, and trying to keep my head above water at work, I suspended even the idea of doing anything outside of work but lying in bed playing video games and watching a "documentary" on Netflix entitled Ancient Aliens. It is at least fifteen episodes of people positing the idea that aliens came to earth sometime in our distant past, or are still here in underwater/underground bases, or walk among us, or will be coming back.

These people are whackadoodle.

It's not that I don't think there might be aliens out there or even that they might have visited Earth, but seriously, the people they found to interview about this stuff are grade-A batshit crazy. Half the time they sound like super-scary religious fundamentalists, and the other half of the time they just sound so adorably excited about the horrifying ideas they've come up with or the incredibly uneducated bull they're spewing. One dude is orange and has hair bigger than my entire head. At one point he posited the idea that Hitler "was, really, a UFO believer!" and I thought...whoa, man, do you actually want the genocidal maniac on your side? Really?

Turned out it was just foreshadowing for the entire episode they did on Hitler And The Aliens. Which would have been a pinnacle of something, except the episode directly before that was all about the Hollow Earth Theory.

It's kind of great, though, in a way. It's so far out there that it's like watching a cheesy science-fiction film without having to care about the characters or sit through the boring bits of the plot. They just go WHAM straight to Ancient Egyptians Had Airplanes That Let Them Visit Peru!

"Mainstream" archaeology just can't keep an open mind about this shit!

It's making me feel really smart, anyway, and I needed that this week. Though it also makes me regret the fact that the Men In Black have not shown up to recruit me yet. I'm right here, guys, and I'm totally ready to pilot your unmarked helicopter over the Zona De Silencio. Plus I know Excel and can type 120 WPM. All I'm asking in return is that you let me in on the secret of who knocked over the Gardner Museum.