Aug. 1st, 2012

I am still bitter about the fact that my employer and government force me to play the stock market.

I know, I know, it's more complicated than that, believe me, I've been over it. But 3% of my paycheck goes into my 401(k) (or rather, my 403(b), whatever) retirement fund, and that's 3% I could be using to pay down my debt. But it's a requirement by my company, so I have to invest it with a retirement fund that informs me "no investment is without risk". Thanks, Vanguard.

What's amusing is that I'm actually not bad at it. It probably helps that I don't treat it like real money. I don't really expect it will be all that helpful by the time I reach retirement age. If Google hasn't turned all SkyNet on us by then anyway.

I check in on it every quarter or so; I have a number of investments in various areas (mostly clean energy, small businesses, and official "socially responsible" companies) and usually I move whatever profits the investments have made into a specific safety fund, which for the last three years hasn't really done anything -- it's never gained much on its own, but on the other hand it's never lost anything. So imagine my surprise when my safety fund just showed the biggest increase of any of my investments. Not that this would be hard, most of mine are in a stall at the moment, but I'm not a damn day-trader, I can wait till they peak again.

I never feel more simultaenously like a grown-up (I have an investment strategy!) and like a child (AHAHAHA MONOPOLY MONEY!) than when I'm managing my retirement fund.

The "targeted retirement fund" that's supposed to automatically earn me enough money to retire by 2045 has consistently lost money. I'm considering dropping it entirely. Its targeting appears to be off.

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