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Well, Mum has emerged from surgery and is apparently doing fine. She's in recovery, so we have fucked off to the cafeteria to eat cheetos and whine about how uncomfortable the chairs in the waiting room are.

I know that everyone everywhere would be appalled at doctors offering couches or recliners for an extra fee in the waiting room, but I would take it. It's like they don't want you to sit down for hours on end.

Also, have any of you seen the Wendy Williams Show? Because now I have. She's quite clever and beautiful, but I don't think I'll make watching a priority.

Lucky and I are discussing the inverse law of video games, which is that the simpler the game is, the more likely bros next to you are to play it at really high volume.

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WELL today fell apart FAST.

Mum was fine coming out of surgery but then they gave her a bunch of drugs that made her pukey, and then they gave her a drug to counteract the nausea that made her groggy. Mind you, sitting and reading tumblr while she slept was infinitely preferable to all the barf-bag holding I have done today, but the amount of disorientation she keeps experiencing is a little freaky.

And then we got a call from the ALARM COMPANY that someone was maybe robbing our house.

Wait no let me rephrase: I GOT A CALL from my PARENTS' alarm company. Because my mother, naturally, was not answering her phone, given she was UNCONSCIOUS, and Lucky had put his away to sit with Mum, and I'm the backup number. I was out having a walk and promptly freaked out all over the alarm company guy, then ran back to the room and freaked out all over Lucky.

Lucky took off like his ass was on fire, heading home to see what the problem was, while I sat in the hospital and worried about the dogs like it was my job. They're just so tiny and fragile. I mean you could kick one of them and that would potentially be the end.

The good news is it was a false alarm; I don't know the details yet but I swear to god when Lucky texted me that all was well you could HEAR my blood pressure drop.

I am ready for this day to be over, adulthood sucks.