(no subject)

[cblj_backup]

I got 900 words in on Valet of Anize, I'm considering that a success for the night. :P But I'm not posting them yet because if I'm lucky tomorrow I get to write a kickass scene I actually want to write! Hooray!

I had some business to do at my bank (lord how grownup I sound) and then swung by Trader Joe's for some bread and Weber Grill for a nice celebratory dinner. And then I came home and collapsed from omg so much food.

I had the most bizarre encounter at Trader Joe's, where an enormously tall dredlocked woman on rollerblades saw me checking out, buying a single loaf of bread, and scoffed at me like I'd just farted on the playground or something.

"THAT'S all you're BUYING?" she said.

"Uh. I needed bread," I said, totally bewildered by the GIANT PERSON ON SKATES mocking me for my food choices. Then she sniffed at me and SKATED AWAY.

Clearly some people aren't secure in the concept of "ten items or less".

Comments

[pocketmouse]

It was the part where you triple-bagged the single loaf of bread, then shoved it in a cardboard box, then shoved it in a kitten, then put it in your SUV powered by burning coal.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Burning coal and babies, don't forget!

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Clearly some people aren't secure in the concept of "ten items or less".

THIS is the kind of person who has 1,325 pope hats.
(http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/phx/1258405496.html)

Just in case you were wondering.

[golden-d.livejournal.com]

I suspect if the pope hat guy's wife weren't Catholic, she'd be asking for a divorce right about now.

Also, his sales technique could use work: "This hat won't fit you, and if it does, it will itch like a mofo and possibly give you a rash. Buy 1,324 more and save!" So enticing!

[minkrose]

I am near tears I am laughing so hard at that. My goodness, I really don't know why I think that is SO FUNNY. I think it's the bit about dogs not wearing them (maybe really NICE dogs - or cats; WTF!!!).

Thank you so much for linking to that.

[iamshadow.livejournal.com]

Every corner of the earth has their own portion of unique people. There's a guy that dresses all in green and rides about on his bicycle, SINGING, wearing a giant cardboard helmet over his cycling helmet, covered in green foil, in the suburb I used to live and work in.

All that said, I love rollerskates. If the world was more rollerskate friendly, I'd wear them all over the place.

[rilee16.livejournal.com]

I went to college in Santa Cruz, and we had Pink Umbrella Man. He dressed all in pink, complete with face paint, parasol and ruffles, and would walk veeeeery sloooooowly down Pacific (Downtown Santa Cruz). Nice guy.

[masterofmidgets.livejournal.com]

There's a guy who stands around outside the university bookstore downtown here, wearing boxers and no shirt and handing out pamphlets on the evils of the oil industry and the health benefits of drinking your own urine. (He also has a regular spot on public access TV, which I expect was conceived with people exactly like him in mind)

[jaydeyn-sitari.livejournal.com]

LOL! You were mocked and mocked hard! *g* I think the rollerskates just adds a certain something to the encounter! *G*

LOL

I guess just buying what you need is a weird concept also?

:)
Jaydeyn

[timberwolfoz.livejournal.com]

Probably the same as the kind of people who are signing up for Costco over here Because They Can. (The fact that it's New and Shiny is a help.)

The news commentary is hysterical -- they're talking about the mass savings but not the fact that you have to buy x amount of said item. I wonder how many people are going to get a Big Surprise after driving all the way to Docklands and spending $60 on membership.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Although, you'd be surprised how fast you get through stuff. I bought a three-pack of ketchup last time I was at Costco, and it's only taken me about five months to get through two bottles. For stuff that keeps a long time, like canned goods and bath tissue, it's well worth it; hell, I buy beef there and freeze it in single-serving portions, ditto cheese. :D

[beachlass.livejournal.com]

Clearly some people aren't secure in the concept of "none of your damn business".

[emyrldlady.livejournal.com]

Damn, just looked through my 16 bags of groceries... I forgot bread.

[etharei.livejournal.com]

Some days I strongly suspect teleportation will be invented by some disgruntled internet addict who Likes To Share Things and has no patience for the usual modes of delivery.

[(Anonymous)]

Man can live on bread alone, after all.

[skelody.livejournal.com]

D:

THINK OF THE NUTRITIONAL DEFICIENCIES

Like there was this one that started with a K, and you got it if you were missing certain amino acids, and it made you look all deformed and stuff D:D:

[minkrose]

Maybe she thinks it's wasteful to go out for just one thing? But she has no way of knowing that you ran other errands as well. That's the best I can think of. I try not to go anywhere (unless I'm walking!) if I'm not buying at least two to three bags of groceries.

I give you my suspicious eyebrow icon to flaunt at her. rar!

[bobthemole.livejournal.com]

I wish my eyebrows could do neat things like that. But they just sit there. Like caterpillars.

[blue-fjords.livejournal.com]

She was probably blown away by your ability to go to TJ's and buy just one thing. Whenever I go there, I always add stuff. I need to go there tomorrow and get veggie stock and white wine. And chocolate. And nuts. And peanut butter dog treats. See? It's a Thing.

And she had actually just farted. That's why she fled the scene. My dog Piper does that, too.

[thalia]

Yeah, I always carry in just one of my reusable bags, thinking I'm just going to buy a couple things, and I end up running back to the car for the second one. Never fails.

[adina-atl.livejournal.com]

Buying nothing but a loaf of bread at Trader Joe's is a little bit like going into FAO Schwartz and only buying a single superball. I mean, I've done it (the bread and TJ, not FAO Schwartz) but the temptation....

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

You know, honestly, I looked around but didn't see anything else I needed -- my pantry's pretty fully stocked right now, and that TJ's no longer sells the salted caramels I love :(

[d-ragondaughter.livejournal.com]

What's her problem? I see a person checking out with just a loaf of bread and I'm all 'W00T! Short line! I'm getting out of here within 30 minutes for once!'

[baranduyn.livejournal.com]

I had the most bizarre encounter at Trader Joe's, where an enormously tall dredlocked woman on rollerblades saw me checking out, buying a single loaf of bread, and scoffed at me like I'd just farted on the playground or something.

"THAT'S all you're BUYING?" she said.

**Designing a t-shirt which will read "Not all of the words in your head need to come out of your mouth."

[lavenderspark.livejournal.com]

awesome! Can I have one??

[firesprite1105.livejournal.com]

I'd love to know how many items the giant person on skates bought, especially if she only had a basket.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

She had one of the red plastic hand-baskets. I didn't look to see what was in it. :D

[starry-diadem.livejournal.com]

Clearly some people aren't secure in the concept of "ten items or less".

She's probably just your average dreadlocked roller-blade grammarian.

[delamna.livejournal.com]

I am not in any way recommending "Crazy" as a lifestyle here, but I must admit that I am incredibly self-conscious when I am at a Tesco/grocery/general-life-support items store. I always feel as though I am being judged, or will be, for what I am buying. What does my soap say about me? Do my tampons reveal that I am a woman? Will people notice that I eat rice?

I usually tell myself that these questions are just a symptom of my low self esteem and are treatable by my medication.

Having read this post, I realise that people will judge me for what I buy. It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you.

My consumerist lifestyle is over. Over!

:[

Also: I would LOVE to be a giant person on skates. I am currently a little person barefoot. Seriously. This lady who randomly sniffed at you and expressed her superiority of consumer behaviour? She is ultra cool. We should be stalking her and throwing our underwear at her. While screaming her name and subsequently fainting.

[rabidfangurl.livejournal.com]

As a member of the Grocery Store Mafia, I can tell you we only judge people who buy really strange things, like 50 lbs of carrots or 10 gallons of rice milk. Oh, and the people who buy every variety of diet food available and then get Ben & Jerry's. Because really, people.

Don't worry. We aren't judging you (unless you're buying 200 lbs of cat litter).

[chalcopyrite.livejournal.com]

Or an entire cart full of matches! Matches in boxes, matches in bigger boxes, matches in books... He said they were all heavy smokers, but he also had a can of lighter fluid. AND NO CIGARETTES.

All of this at midnight. I didn't judge, but I did wonder if I should maybe call the cops.

[chalcopyrite.livejournal.com]

(Ahaha, this was meant to be a reply to rabidfangurl's Grocery Mafia. Clearly I should not try to post comments before I've had tea. *facepalm*)

[aunty_marion]

Alas, the phrase "ten items or less" makes me twitch.

Ten items or fewer, please.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Hey, I'm just repeating what the sign over the register says :D

[firynze.livejournal.com]

Wow. Uhm. Yeah, that's just a little surreal.

[bodlon.livejournal.com]

No, see, the appropriate response is to look terrified and stammer something about how 'this is all the Master allows me' and run off in tears.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

OH LOL

Totally should have done that.

And/or "Well, I was waiting for the jug of wine. And thou, of course."