(no subject)

[cblj_backup]

It's Tuesday Night! And it's time for Sam's Three Things About White Collar where there was too much awesome to talk about the frustrating and bizarre voice-over "added dialogue" about the stupid museum thing OH MY GOD.

Ahem.

Spoilers for 3.04, TELL YOUR HOT WIFE TO CALL ME NEXT TIME SHE MAKES MUFFINS

1. One is actually two things, because I couldn't decide between the awesome of Tiny Brilliant Mozzie and the new apparently supporting role that Agent Adorable Probie has been given. And how Agent Adorable Probie is totally biting Neal's hairstyle. I APPROVE OF ALL OF THESE THINGS, and also puns about bridgework. But mostly I wish I could remember Agent Adorable Probie's real name. (It'll come in time. Nick was "CSI Squarehead" for the first ten episodes of CSI I watched.)

2. So I was all "Ohai The Sting" and then I was like "Wow, Peter, your hair is cool, nice to go with that tux" and then Jeff Eastin was like BAM NEAL IN A TUX and Elizabeth was all HEY GUYS PROM PHOTO and then I died of LOL forever.

3. Look I can't even talk about how awesome that fight was so I'm just going to transcribe it for you to enjoy.

Peter: You were trouble ever since you came to work for me! With your....glossy smile....and those annoying little hats!
Neal: You loved my hats!
Peter: The hell I did! You're insubordinate, you never do what I tell you to do, and every time I turn my back you're off doing who knows what with God knows who!
(Sam: Peter, you're firing him, not dumping him.)
Neal: You know -- you ungrateful bastard. I have had your back since day one and anytime anything goes wrong I'm the first person you blame --
Peter: Because you're a con! It's who you are! And it's all you'll ever be!
(Sam: OH NO YOU DIDN'T.)
Peter: You're fired! Get out of my sight!
Neal: With pleasure!
Peter: Good.
Neal: And the next time your hot wife gets lonely --
Peter: *slow turn, GLARE OF BLACK DEATH*
Neal: -- tell her to call me.
Crowd: OOOOOOH.
Peter: *OH NO HE DIDN'T*

Fake fight, real emotions. GLORIOUSLY MESSED UP.

3a. Bubblegum ice cream is disgusting. IJS.

Comments

[xntrick.livejournal.com]

My mother and I were totally losing it over that fight. And yeah...there were definitely a few "OOOOOOHHHH DID HE JUST SAY THAT?!"s in there.

[xntrick.livejournal.com]

Also some speculation that these were things that needed to get out in the open, whether they knew it or not.

[taffimai.livejournal.com]

Bubble gum ice cream is incredibly delicious until you turn ten and then it turns into a disgusting mess.

[margi-lynn.livejournal.com]

Yes, this. I used to love bubble gum ice cream; little kids are weird.

[arsenicjade.livejournal.com]

Would this awesome mean I can start considering watching, or no?

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

I thought about emailing you because there have been some...twists that I don't think will change your feelings, but might. Lemme email you in the morning when I'm more than semi-conscious -- if I don't, hit me so I can explain what's going on. (The fight was a fake -- they were performing while undercover.)

[dreamwaffles.livejournal.com]

This entire episode made me go :D :D :D :D :D :D :D!!

Particularly the tuxes. I, um, may or may not have a thing for people in tuxes.

Also wee!Mozzie, D'AWWWWW FOREVER. THE BEAR. OMG.

[elrhiarhodan]

Agent Adorable Probie's name is Blake - and he's been in two eps this season. He may become a regular before Sharif Atkins.

(His first appearance was in By the Book).

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Aha! Well, I can't approve of him getting to be a regular before Sharif, who is PWNING every scene he's in, but hopefully maybe they both will.

I keep wanting to call him Collins. BLAKE. *fixes in head*

[mythologian.livejournal.com]

Peter's face after Neal's comment about his "hot wife" just about killed me. If looks could cause spontanious combustion, Neal would be a pile of ash on the floor after that one.

[mythologian.livejournal.com]

also that final scene with Peter was brilliant -- you know Neal would long-distance stalk the shit out of Peter and Elizabeth for the rest of forever if he actually managed to flee with Mozzie and the loot.

[kit-maxel.livejournal.com]

Wee baby Mozzie and his Mozart bear! :D

God, the tuxes, and that fight. *swoon*

[darthrami.livejournal.com]

As I (just) said, that fight pretty much made up for everything bad in the entire episode. (Which was basically consisting of the horrible voiceover of horribleness.)

I puffy heart that fight for FOREVER. I love it when they're forced to make subtext text.

See also with the prom.

PUFFY HEARTS FOR NEAL AND PETER (and el)

[darthrami.livejournal.com]

(also homfg I need to sleep the baby will eat me ALIVE tomorrow.)

[rowanberries.livejournal.com]

...Man, I really have to start watching this season.

[soxykitty.livejournal.com]

I missed this voiceover... where did this happen, what was said? How did I miss it after all the talk about it?! wtf self...

3. I totally thought it sounded like a break-up fight too, and I was just like awww aren't y'all adorable

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

It was right at the start, and Jeff Eastin inserted it specifically after the furor over the loot in episode one. Basically it just said "We know it came from museums" (how do they know? Nobody knows!) "so it's not tainted, we're okay to sell it". It wasn't actually a voiceover, it was a dub-over while Mozzie wasn't facing the camera.

[samjohnsson.livejournal.com]

1. Blake. So you know what to screamchant.

2. For El? Christmas came early, and she didn't know what present to unwrap first.

3. Methinks that fight started staged and veered way close to truth, that.

3a. It's not near as bad as candy cane.

[elainasaunt.livejournal.com]

Nooo, I looooove candy cane ice cream!

[firesprite1105.livejournal.com]

OMGGGG...this new ep needs to go up on Hulu LIKE WHOA.

[ladytinyhelm.livejournal.com]

My hands involuntarily formed themselves into toddlerfists of glee when El made them pose for the prom photo. And then, to top it all off, she even added "be safe!" That scene was the definition of adorable. On the anti-adorable (or perhaps bizarro-world adorable) side of things, I must have replayed the fight three times. Watching those men play off of each other is such a beautiful thing. You can almost see the sparks.

Okay, and this point may be small and insignificant to most people, but still. THOSE ACCENTS. As a Detroit-adjacent person myself, I'm amused that Detroit mob apparently sounds like generic Italian gangsters, instead of, you know, Detroiters.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

And it's not just that she made them pose, she basically just said "I want to take your picture!" and rather than awkward standing-around, they IMMEDIATELY did the prom-photo pose thing.

[elainasaunt.livejournal.com]

I just got done watching it and I'm like "Voiceover? What voiceover? What museum?" Good thing imma hafta watch it again right away to see the fight scene over again and also to check that I wasn't imagining the HEATED LOOK that Peter sends Neal at the very start of the FBI betting parlor scene.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Jeff Eastin inserted a new line -- it's really more of a dub-over than a voice over -- right at the start, while Mozzie's back is to the camera. The line basically says "We know it's from a museum, it's not tainted, so it's ok to sell".

We knew Eastin had written "some new dialogue" for the episode, to explain the museum thing, but it was pretty much even less than the bare minimum I expected.

[sopdetly.livejournal.com]

This episode was the most amazing thing in a long time. TUXES. PROM PHOTO. MUFFINS. THE PROBIE TRYING TO "SING ALONG" WITH MOZZIE'S SLEEP TAPE. JUST. ALKAJFLA;KJF;S.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

THAT MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD, singing along with the whales. "Aruuuuooooo...oooowoooo..."

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Thank you for transcribing the fight and the "the next time your hot wife gets lonely" line was so much to the awesome that I can't even stand it!

I knew you'd like that and the prom photo!

I need fic now.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Neal just went for it, like "I don't care if he spanks me later, I have to declare to the room how hot his wife is."

You should write fic now! I would read it.

[metallumai.livejournal.com]

I am in awe of how you can notice hair-- all hair does on those well-dressed guys is be combed and make them not bald. I must be hair-blind.

But really, I thought Elizabeth baking Mozzie cookies or whatever she made was way more comment-worthy. 'course this is only the third episode I've ever seen; maybe she does that all the time. :D

[metallumai.livejournal.com]

p.s: SO delighted with "dentist"-- when I was weeMozzie's age I used Dentist as a cussword too.

[tjs-whatnot.livejournal.com]

Cutest bestest episode EVER!

♥____________♥

[imagines.livejournal.com]

Fake fight, real emotions. GLORIOUSLY MESSED UP.

THIS THIS THIS oh my god I DIED.

I have never had bubblegum ice cream, for I hate bubblegum flavor. ...Unless it is off-brand bubblegum vodka mixed with off-brand cream soda, then it's CANDY.

[wellowned.livejournal.com]

i heard that vodka and big red makes for the sweetest candy drink ever.

[pegasuspup.livejournal.com]

Re: bubblegum ice cream... Isn't Mozzie lactose intolerant? He probably hasn't had any ice cream, bubblegum or otherwise since leaving Detroit.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

I've always thought some of Mozzie's food allergies were psychosomatic, and came and went with his neuroses :D

[willow-41z.livejournal.com]

Oh man, I really enjoyed this episode, what with Mozzie's cunning (sneaking out with a MELON! how did he get them to bring him a whole one?), June (who apparently found $500,000 on very short notice and was willing to trust Moz with it), El, and the fight, and... basically everyone.

I'm torn between "well at least they're trying" and "what they think is fixing it isn't fixing it!" re: the Nazi treasure.

[wellowned.livejournal.com]

i had to lol at the prom picture pose and the fact that neal's shirt is basically stripper!tux translucent. :D and the very truthiness of the staged fight. best. :)

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Peter's actually is too -- backstage photos show him looking RIDIC in a tux shirt with a t-shirt underneath, so that his sleeves are all see-through. :D

[ysabet.livejournal.com]

I am SO looking forward to watching this ep...

As for ice cream, BG isn't as bad as Dill Pickle Ice Cream. Or Garlic Ice Cream. Trust me on this one.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Ohhhhhh but I love garlic ice cream! I've made it at home before.

[jazmin-firewing.livejournal.com]

Yay! I'm finally caught up on White Collar! And yes, this ep was FANTASTIC. I love the totally-not-fake fight. "Gloriously messed up", indeed.

I really hope that when Neal and Mozzie figure out what's on the list and what's safe to sell, they try to fence something and the buyer (maybe someone related to a Holocaust survivor?) goes, "Where did you say you got this again? A Nazi u-boat?!?! Bad con-men! No cookie money! You get this stuff to the proper museums/owners RIGHT NOW or I'm turning you in!"
That throwaway dubbed-in line was just insulting, IMO.

[canaana.livejournal.com]

(Sam: Peter, you're firing him, not dumping him.)

You too, huh? ;-)

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Everyone I know was like "Wow, that was pretty much the most "gay relationship breakup" line I've ever seen on television."