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Mar. 14th, 2012 02:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cblj_backupAwkward Coworker loves red Starburst. Actually everyone in the office loves the red and pink Starburst, as evidenced by the fact that my candy bowl ends up being a mixture of Werther's hard candies, caramels, and yellow and orange Starburst chews because all the red and pink ones have been picked out.
Awkward Coworker: Hey! I found a red one!
Sam: Ahaha, a treasure! I can't believe I always end up with orange and yellow. I should be able to buy just red and pink.
Awkward Coworker: On the website, maybe?
Sam: Maybe, but Financial Operations has forbidden me from buying candy on the corporate card. They say it's not allowed.
Awkward Coworker: They what now?
Sam: I can only buy candy from Staples with a purchase order, because then it's considered "office supplies".
Awkward Coworker: You know what you should do? You should sell the orange and yellow ones.
Sam: Sell them?
Awkward Coworker: To make money for more red and pink ones.
Sam: Well. I mean. Standing out on Michigan Avenue...of a summer's day...on my lunch hour...selling yellow Starburst candies.
Awkward Coworker: You could have a sandwich board.
Sam: I bet I'd meet some interesting people.
Awkward Coworker: I bet you'd get arrested.
Sam: Could you sound less happy about that?
Awkward Coworker: It's just the way I sound!
We have actual real conversations now, him and me. It's kind of awesome. I mean we still can't figure out how to say good morning to each other without committing a giant mutual social faux-pas, but on the subject of Starburst we're all good.
Awkward Coworker: Hey! I found a red one!
Sam: Ahaha, a treasure! I can't believe I always end up with orange and yellow. I should be able to buy just red and pink.
Awkward Coworker: On the website, maybe?
Sam: Maybe, but Financial Operations has forbidden me from buying candy on the corporate card. They say it's not allowed.
Awkward Coworker: They what now?
Sam: I can only buy candy from Staples with a purchase order, because then it's considered "office supplies".
Awkward Coworker: You know what you should do? You should sell the orange and yellow ones.
Sam: Sell them?
Awkward Coworker: To make money for more red and pink ones.
Sam: Well. I mean. Standing out on Michigan Avenue...of a summer's day...on my lunch hour...selling yellow Starburst candies.
Awkward Coworker: You could have a sandwich board.
Sam: I bet I'd meet some interesting people.
Awkward Coworker: I bet you'd get arrested.
Sam: Could you sound less happy about that?
Awkward Coworker: It's just the way I sound!
We have actual real conversations now, him and me. It's kind of awesome. I mean we still can't figure out how to say good morning to each other without committing a giant mutual social faux-pas, but on the subject of Starburst we're all good.
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Date: 2012-03-15 01:22 pm (UTC)No, they don't know I'm famous on the internet. I occasionally mention "a friend" in place of "the cafe" :D
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Date: 2012-03-15 05:33 pm (UTC)I read a lot of 'short stories'. By which I mean 'fanfics'.
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Date: 2012-03-15 05:36 pm (UTC)"There's this writing community I know..."
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Date: 2012-03-16 07:04 pm (UTC)ship war = debate society
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Date: 2012-03-16 07:48 pm (UTC)