(no subject)

I HAVE BEEN TO COSTCO. I have all the muffins. All of them.

I thought I would take the day off for a number of reasons, but especially because Costco is INSANE on weekends, and not too bad on weekday mornings. I forgot that this is the Friday before Thanksgiving week, which meant that everyone wanted to get their Thanksgiving supplies before the weekend.

For those of you who don't use Costco or don't have one in your area/country, Costco's bakery is infamous for its dinner rolls. You get a sack of about three dozen for some criminally inexpensive price, and they're absolutely delicious -- soft and fluffy and really good warm. This isn't just some private dinner-roll fetish of mine; it's common knowledge. A few years ago my parents went to Costco the Monday before Thanksgiving and actually had someone steal the bag of rolls they were buying right out of their cart. I am sure there are people in the Cafe who will agree with my mother's sentiment that it's not Thanksgiving without Costco rolls.

There was another time when we brought rolls home and set them on the window bench in the kitchen, which we had assumed for years was out of our dachshund's reach because we kept his food there and he'd never bothered trying to get at it. We went out again to get lunch or something, and when we came back Dog had pulled the bag down from the bench, ripped it open, and eaten his body weight in rolls. He was so bloated with dinner rolls he could barely waddle his ass out of the kitchen when we got home.

So everyone and their brother was at Costco this morning, buyin' themselves some pies and dinner rolls. I passed one cart with four bags of rolls in it. I opted for muffins instead, and then without thinking bought a massive box of muffin mix, with the result that I now have the equivalent of six dozen muffins in my kitchen.

I'm quite proud of my shopping prowess, though. I went with a hundred dollars in cash, planning to spend only $75, and left with everything I needed (beef, cheese, bread, muffins, ketchup, butter) for a grand total of $74.56. Momma taught me well.

My freezer looks like I'm hunkering down for winter in a log cabin in the woods somewhere...

(no subject)

I just opened my mail, and there's a letter from Dell Financial saying they'd like me to call them, because they've put my order on hold and are unable to reach me by phone.

THAT'S FUNNY, BECAUSE I REACHED YOU BY PHONE THREE TIMES IN TWO DAYS. Oh wait, I might not have been me when that happened.

They asked me to take a customer satisfaction survey yesterday. That was cathartic.

Fortunately the hold has already been lifted, and my new computer left Nashville this morning. Come on, little laptop! Travel swiftly, Papa's waiting for you! I have all kinds of lovely software to give you, and a nice soft padded compartment in my bag with your name on it.

I'm hoping it arrives Monday, as predicted, because on Tuesday I'm bugging out of Chicago for Thanksgiving. Not a moment too soon; email has been flying fast and furious today, as everyone tries to get things done before the holiday. It'll be nice to go in on Monday, tie everything up like a superhero, and then bolt before they want me to do any more magic.

On the other hand, on Monday I need to coordinate the schedules of five people and two conference rooms for a candidate interview, come up with an awesome venue for our team holiday party, and smooth some feathers I inadvertently ruffled by...well, I wouldn't say my database programming was wrong. Let's say I did it in an unorthodox but ultimately correct fashion, but we have one senior staff member for whom change is difficult.

And now if you'll excuse me, I believe it's time for muffins.