(no subject)

It cracks me up how gentle my coworkers can be with me sometimes.

In theory I shouldn't be doing the research work I'm doing, but we're still understaffed and I've made it clear that I'd like to move into a Research position at some point, so when a big rush comes in I always get a few. I like the work; it's interesting, if a little creepy, and there's something very satisfying about completing a document.

What's funny is what happens after I send it out to be proofed. My very first document I sent in, Awkward Coworker came over to me and said, "Listen, don't worry if it comes back covered in red ink. I still get tons of corrections on my proofs. It's not personal, some people take it personal" and I thought about extribulum and was like, yeah, I think I'll live.

This past week, with a ton of documents due, the senior associate emailed me proofread copies of the documents I'd done and said "I fixed these and turned them in, I just wanted to let you see how it's going. Here's a list of corrections to watch out for. Please don't feel bad!!!"

I may have LOLed. She sent me a bullet pointed list of things to fix, like, she sent me a checklist to use, and she thinks I'll feel bad?

So I emailed her back, trying to be reassuring, and said "I really appreciate getting a list! That'll make cross-checking my next documents easier," and she wigged out and came to my cubicle and said JUST TO BE SURE, YOU KNOW EVERYONE GETS A LIST, RIGHT? IT'S NOT JUST YOU WHO HAS THESE PROBLEMS.

I felt like, I don't know, Superman or something. I have an internet alter ego that vocally advocates not just a strong editing process but a strong relationship between writer and reader based in criticism; I have three published novels with a fourth one in edits, and yet at work I am mild mannered Sam Starbuck who for all they know has never received constructive criticism on print work before.

But then in my Monday status meeting with the Director I said, "I've noticed some inconsistency in the edits -- when you proof me you want dashes in birthdates, but when the senior associate proofs me she asks for slashes. I know it's a small thing but I was hoping to clarify, 'cause it's probably not just me this is happening to," and she started laughing and said, "Okay, you're doing fine here, aren't you?"

Yes ma'am, I certainly am.

(no subject)

Awkward Coworker loves red Starburst. Actually everyone in the office loves the red and pink Starburst, as evidenced by the fact that my candy bowl ends up being a mixture of Werther's hard candies, caramels, and yellow and orange Starburst chews because all the red and pink ones have been picked out.

Awkward Coworker: Hey! I found a red one!
Sam: Ahaha, a treasure! I can't believe I always end up with orange and yellow. I should be able to buy just red and pink.
Awkward Coworker: On the website, maybe?
Sam: Maybe, but Financial Operations has forbidden me from buying candy on the corporate card. They say it's not allowed.
Awkward Coworker: They what now?
Sam: I can only buy candy from Staples with a purchase order, because then it's considered "office supplies".
Awkward Coworker: You know what you should do? You should sell the orange and yellow ones.
Sam: Sell them?
Awkward Coworker: To make money for more red and pink ones.
Sam: Well. I mean. Standing out on Michigan Avenue...of a summer's day...on my lunch hour...selling yellow Starburst candies.
Awkward Coworker: You could have a sandwich board.
Sam: I bet I'd meet some interesting people.
Awkward Coworker: I bet you'd get arrested.
Sam: Could you sound less happy about that?
Awkward Coworker: It's just the way I sound!

We have actual real conversations now, him and me. It's kind of awesome. I mean we still can't figure out how to say good morning to each other without committing a giant mutual social faux-pas, but on the subject of Starburst we're all good.